The Obsessive Compulsive Designer

Tired...

2009-11-26T05:41:00.002+08:00

Its been a tough year and indeed an eventful one as well. I'm glad 2009 is coming to a close and I hope that 2010 brings more luck and joy.

I just got back from Bangkok today, was there with Goy and it was wonderful just being there with her and lazing around in our apartment with our dog (Sushi Koh). Went searching for another apartment with her and decided to rent a 2 bed-room condo in early 2010, afterall we sure will be needing the extra bedroom space for the baby and visiting family members and friends.

The past few months have been very rough, business has taken a slide, probably due to it being the year end school holidays. I have been travelling up to Bangkok almost weekly now, its really tiring but I don't have much complains, just that I feel really sad that Goy cannot be with me everyday (She can't enter Singapore until she gives birth), but its always bliss when I'm in Bangkok, I don't have the stress of knowing that I have to be stuck in the pub or in my office, most of the time, Goy and I are either eating or just going to various places in Bangkok. Its pretty much ok to be living there and setting up home there, I work here in Singapore and I change it to Thai currency when I'm there and it sure as hell enough to do what ever you want. Anyway, I have stopped my shopperholic ways, so no more Gucci shoes, LV belts or new watches... Have to really work doubly hard as our baby is on the way this coming April. Boy/Girl we don't know yet. A part of me wants a son, Goy wants a girl so she can buy pretty little outfits. but what ever it is, I just want a healthy baby and for all other stuff to slowly fall into place.

Just reminising over the past... Just this time last year I was partying so hard and playing so much, fast forward to now and here I am preparing to be a Husband and a Father... I never really thought I would be cut-out for marriage but then again... No man should be an island... I guess I have played wayyyy enough in the past... I'm bored of the late nights and the splurging... I just want to continue concentrating on the business and start building something larger in the near future.

Now with the baby on the way and hospital expenses and the condo, I will be working like crazy man... Hopefully not only does Legends do better but my other businesses as well

Great Expectations

2009-10-05T00:27:00.002+08:00

Changing Lanes...

I remember clearly what kind of person I was before and when ever I look back, I always wonder... Wonder how I could be such a party animal... Days on and night's end I would party and party the the lights came on... I think about the numerous flings and the fast pick-ups and then I look at myself now... Married, havinf a kid on the way, planning to buy a house, bought a family car, opened a family back account...

Just last year I was still fooling around and had totally no plans of getting married, but I guess when the time comes and when you meet the right one, you just know it. My mom always told me after every failed relationship I had... "You just have not found the right one yet."

Somehow, during the period of running my business and all my travelling to Bangkok, I knew that I would end up being with a girl that is only Thai but also someone who could be in the same business as me.
Goy now helps me out almost everyday with stuff at the pub, I'm lucky because my work load was killing me and the handling of the other staff gets me frustrated, now Goy handles the staff and I am more free to go about my own work stuff.

i got to admit, its a pretty scary thought... about having a kid... Its obviously something very new to me. What kind of father would I be, Will my kid find me cool when he grows up? Will my kid go partying with me when he/she is 18? How will I bring my kid up? These are some stuff that flood my mind sometimes...

I guess if I stick to the same style that my parents brought me up with, I won't go wrong. Mom taught me how to be a gentleman. So my son better be one. That is if I get a son...

Anyway, next topic.
Its been 3 years since I took over operations in Legends, the pub has gone a long...long way... 9 years altogether... I remeber how tough it was duting my first year of running it.. And now, everytime I step in the bar, I feel very proud of what it has become... I'm not being boastful, please don't get me wrong, but I have this pride over what Legends has become. There are still problems that needs to be solved but I know I can do it...

But I'm saving alot and working really had so that nick and I can open another bar next year... My mind is set, I need to get my house by next year and open a new pub. The Ferarri can wait for a few more years. :)

The Big Leap...

2009-08-11T05:35:00.003+08:00

Today... 10th August 2009, I finally FULLY decided to go all out in this relationship with Goy, I logged on to the Registry of Marriages website and filed a notice of marriage. I am indeed excited, this is probably going to be the biggest decision I will ever make in this life. I know its going to be tough, it sure is a big commitment but I know that it is time, I know myself damn well, and when I found her I knew that she was the one, of course its not always been bliss but we both will have to overcome hurdles, obstacles and what ever life throws at us. We have our arguements and she has her faults and I have mine but let time take its course and I know that the future would be pleasant.
She is back in Thailand as her work visa here has expired, I wish I could be up there now but cicumstances prohibits.. lets hope all is good on Thursday and I can jet up to Bangkok.

This decision to marry came as a shock to many of my friends as they always thought I would be the last to get hitched. I guess even a player can change, so, its farewell to the womanizing ways... If you're asking me how I really feel, I would say that its a whole lot of mixed feelings, deep down inside I do have a little fear that things may not always be a bed of roses. I am glad I have the blessings of my parents and my sister to guide advice me. Edmund my best buddy for the past 20 years plus has been a pillar of strength to me, he was always there when I had problems regarding relationships and it was also his advice that prompted me to get married, I love Goy and it seems almost like destiny the way we met. We met at Bangkok airport and she took the same flight as me but when we reached Singapore, I did not see her, but the next night at Club Nana, she came up to me I was pleasantly shocked but happy to realise that she was the new singer there, things took off for us pretty quickly and fast forward till now... a decision to get married. Wish me good luck friends. The main ceremony would probably only be held next year. It sure is going to be a night to remember and definitely a night she would always remember.

Missing...

2009-06-19T03:23:00.002+08:00

It has probably been about more that 6 months since I last updated this blog, reason being... I have been very very busy since last year November on... Legends (My Pub), has taken a huge amount of my time. Business is getting better each day and the concept of the place is evolving very rapidly. But I'm not celebrating any success yet as there is always room for much more improvement and fine tuning.

Apart from the pub, the past months have proven to be very eventful... A large part of my time has also been spent travelling up to Thailand for business (Don't ask)... I would reckon that I went to the Land of Smiles more than 20 times since November 2008. Now I can even understand and speak a little of the beautiful language... Still needs practice...

For the past few months, I met many people and crossed paths with various individuals. Some bad, but mostly good.
During a period of about 6 months, I spent alot of time partying and drinking with my close buddies (What's New?)... Most nights-mornings, we were at Club Nana (The Thai Club), we would religiously head there straight after I closed my pub... Over there... We would party till the club closed, Without a doubt, I met a ton of girls and flings came easily... I don't even want to try to recall how much cash we spent there... The nights we were there garnered much attention as expected, slowly I got to know a girl... I used to see her there but never really knew much about her, only after some time did other customers tell me she was the boss's daughter. Night after night, the bunch of us would just party and party... I don't even recall how she and I got aquainted...
If I am not mistaken, I only really spoke to her at a funeral, a dear friend of mine who worked for her passed on... From then on we started talking once in awhile whenever we saw each other at the club... Slowly, feelings started to grow and then I had to fly to Bangkok for work... This part I remember... While I was in Bangkok, I had a very expensive argument with her.. Lets just call her 'K'... Kay called me while I was in Bangkok and asked me why did I sleep with some girl if I had feeling for her... I really could not answer that question well and I think I gave my usual arrogant reply... "There's nothing wrong with sleeping with that girl right?, I'm single!"... As expected with all of those kind of answers... it upset 'K' even more... We argued a little more on the phone while the rest of my friends were partying in a place called "Karafun"... I told 'K' that I did fancy her and would hope for us to be more than friends... I told her to think about it and not say anything... My Bangkok trip went as per normal... My dear buddies played a prank on me and made me drunk enough that I ended up sleeping in some stranger's apartment... (NO! Nothing Happened)... The "Stranger" was kind enough to tuck me in bed and let me sleep the drunkness away...

The next night, we were already back in Singapore and we headed to Nana again... That night I got very very drunk... by this time, I was on 'OK' terms with 'K' already... I don't know how or what happened that night but all I know is that when the club closed... I was in her car along the ECP and we nearly crashed into the divider as she was just as drunk as I was... That night I don't know how or why, but I ended up staying over at her place... Nothing happened... But from just one night it became 10 nights... It was a crazy whirlwind period for me... Days together were spent watching TV, having lunch and massages and all...
I don't even know if we were actually a couple at all... Either I was at Nana or she was at Legends (sometimes)...
As I knew from the beginning, problems about our "relationship" would slowly surface... gossip from customers at Nana and her ex-bf about me being a player and being really good with words and all that shitty gritty stuff... So the relationship went into defence mode and it went... switch on...switch off...switch on.......... Fast forward... The reationship went to earth's core... It taught me quite abit actually.... Its not always true that two people in the same line of work can get along. "K' and I were in the exact line of work yet nothing worked out... The funniest thing she said to me is.. "YOU LOVE NANA MORE THAN ME!"... Well, anyway... Lets move on... so.. after that relationship, I was back to travelling to Bangkok to do my stuff and so on.... Then! on a certain trip back from Bangkok, I chanced upon this gorgeous girl at the airport in Bangkok, we took the same flight back to Singapore and I never saw her at Singapore's Airport... I didn't think too much of it. That night when I was at Nana, this girl came up to me at my sofa, it took me quite awhile to remember her, she was the girl I met at the airport in Bangkok!... Her name is Goy (pronounced as Koy)... It was a mixture of feelings at that moment. After seeing Goy again that night, all I could think of is her every single day. Goy was hired at Nana by the ex-gf "K"... Ironic eh? So... Goy and I started dating after a week. I have to admit that in the beginning, it was probably lust not love but slowly those feeling of lust changed and I developed a love for Goy...
Goy and I are inseperable now, and not a day goes past without her making me smile. I would dare say that she brought alot of joy to my life. We have a little communication problem but we're working on it... her English is getting better and my Thai is ermm....well... I'm trying to learn more Thai. I guess, I have Nana to thank for.
Each day I am filled with major stress due to work and other factors but somehow, just waking up next to her every day, brightens up my day... We do have our quarrels and all but which couple does not quarrrel right? She is a wonderful girlfriend and I need not need anyone else... And one more thing... there might be a surprise announcement from me this August! Shhh...

Anyway, lets move along. Apart from happiness and bliss, I have been going through tremendous pressure due to work and alot of thinking. I'm working really hard to stay ahead of the business. Alot of problem solving...
The day I decided that nightlife is my path, I told myself that I would have to face up to all the problems that the night scene business would bring... Its getting really tough and I don't know if dangerousis the word I should use... close brother's like Edmund and Jason would know what I mean by the nightlife dangers... I met up with Edmund and Jason at Legends for a chit chat session in the office, told them my latest problem... They told me not to worry too much about it. I know I'm prepared for anything and to face up to everything but how not to worry right? But I always tell myself... what comes...just come... Once everything is settled, the road would be much smoother to walk on.
I have to thank God for giving me really great friends and a supportive family.

Keeping up to date...

2008-10-07T02:32:00.001+08:00

You know... everytime I get out of a relationship, I become like a fucking bird-out-of-the-cage... Yeah Rani... Parrot out of the cage... Well anyway, the Pamela episode is over as she has left on a jet plane... I can't say I never loved her because I did but after what she has said and done after the relationship, I would just fogive but forget I never do. I know she has malicious intent but what fuck can she do? Voodoo? Maybe I'll wake up with 4 inches off the family jewels.

I've been partying really too much lately, but I must admit it sure is fun and refreshing... Close friends around me knows me well enough, I can't be with anyone for too long, my boredom meter goes off and I get sick and tired... What adds up is when the partner is too fucking bubble gum sticky and possesive. Maybe its me, maybe I can't offer the security to any girl. But fuck it man... Some guys are made to play not stay. My parents are used to it already, they don't have hopes of me getting married. Hahaha... marriage... thats a funny thought.

Anyway lately, too fucking busy to even TRY to find any companion, no mood for one-night-stand either... I hate the feeling of doing the deed and then they fucking want to snuggle and cuddle till late afternoon the next day... No time, I need to wake up early, go banking, do account, read papers, make cheques, and plan stuff for my dad... So I really don't have time to fucking cuddle and frollick in bed... Rani says I'm afraid of commitment... I think so too...
My goosebumps appear when ever I receive those "I miss you sms's" or the "When can we see each other..." ... I don't even get to see my mother daily!

Anyway, the girl Kelly, the last one which Pamela slapped, its over... too fucking bubble gum... You know why bubble gum? Because when gum sticks to your hair, you can never get rid of it totally unless you just cut your hair off... Same! Unless you cut these girls off... If not, residue still remains...

Sometime after a stressful day which almost everyday... I come home, take my shower, feed my ferrets (I'll touch on the ferret topic tomorrow) and lie in bed and think... I tend to think alot, ever since young... And so I think of everything, usually its about ex-girlfriends... And some special flings... I don't know if its odd to miss ex-gf's... One would think, if you still love your ex why not grab life by the balls and get her back... But unfortunately, life is not so Hollywood. My biggest problem is... I miss too many ex's... Well, yeah, I just think about all these stupid stuff till I get sleepy and doze off...

Here I am working so hard trying to save up as much and also make more money to hopefully buy an apartment next year, if I were to ever get married, my goodness, marriage is cheap, but imagine D.I.V.O.R.C.E!!!!! Half of everything I worked for... Half assets and worst of all... HALF LEGENDS!!!!!!! So... Cannot... I'll be a bachelor boy...Marcus Gf says I'm afraid of intimacy, Rani says I'm commitment phobic, I say I'm both man...
What I like is actually "INTIMACY WITHOUT INTRICACY"... I just want constant companions... But not a singular companion who is constant... Like what my dad always tell me, "keep your options open son"... Dad, if you knew about this blog, I think you would be proud, you would really know my options are wayyyyyyyy open... Thank goodness he does not know how to use the internet. He also tells me stuff like think with your head not your heart... Wise words my old man has... I guess he was a naughty naughty boy whn he was my age too... Hahaha... But one wise phrase he once told me is... "When poverty come knocking at the door, love goes out the window." That!... is something so true and I always ponder over it... Thats why I'm trying very very hard to work and work really hard to really build something huge for my future and the future for the ones who helped me build it... You guys know who you are... Marie.. you there? ;)

On family...

I would say, I definitely love both my parents equally, but I'm really glad that my dad and I got to know each other better through these four years at Legends@Siglap, our relationship was never bad before but it was different from now... I guess work brought us closer and we became more of friends that father & son, of course I still respect him as my father but what we have become now is so much different, when ever we go out, people come up to us and tell her that its amazing how we both can hang out and be friends. We still do have our arguements quite often sometimes, but its all business related and we argue to challenge each others concepts and style, it is a way of bonding, sometimes he loses, and sometimes me... I appreciate what he has done for me and is still doing for me. I would not be so comfortable now if he had not given me Legends and groomed me to be a business-thinker. He urges me to keep on pushing my goals higher and higher. He tells me that what I have done so far is good but I can do better and strive further... He knows I am stressed out almost everyday because of the plans we have for our Orchard Towers branch and also keeping up the business in our Siglap outlet, he knows I am always falling ill because I have too much expectation, but yet he is positive that I can build something really great soon... One thing I know, he has faith in me and one thing he knows, I always love him and am so thankful for what he has done for me through the years.

My mom is a strong lady, she has stood by me all the time, I was a bad..bad.. boy back in the past, I'm not embarassed to speak about the past as I believe that accepting the past is the only way one can truly forge a future for himself. I was in trouble so many times but my mom stood by me and offered me support. Back in secondary school, I was a rebel, I was expelled 3 times because of the wonderous shit I did... I ones painted a mural of pictures and scenery at a voideck of a block of flats in front of Katong Convent, it was to profess my 'love' for some girl I really liked then... Hahaha, I was 15... But me always being very proud of my artworks, I signed my name there as well, obviously I was expelled by my principal, but when they brought my mother to show her the vandalism, the principal did tell my mom that the painting was gorgeous and its a waste that they had to ask me to paint it back to white... They told her that I should focus more on how to use my talents but not at a public place... My mom, tried so hard to make the school accept me back, so in the end, they took me back and made me paint and draw loads of other stuff in school... So I was in and out of secondary school until my O'levels, I still remember my grades... English, A1, Art A1, Geography B, the rest F... Hahaha... I could not get into any Junior College or anywhere, but she pressed and asked around for options and she told me that Arts/Design school would suit me... So I went to Lasalle SIA and pursued Advertising, Fine arts and consumer psychology, I loved every day of it, my mom was the person who gave me the drive to be top, when I graduated, I was very surprised that I had been graded a full score in the faculty and had achieved top student of the entire faculty... I owe all that to my mom... After college I got into some problems with the law, a fight actually and I was arrested for rioting with intension to hurt, again I made my mom cry, but yet... this strong woman, held on to faith and stood by me, she had testimonials from my college, went to all my court hearings, and prayed for me. She knew that if the court ruled me guilty I would be sent to jail for a minimum of 5 years, that she could not accept, she got all my lecturers to write to court to say something good, in the end, it all came out well and I was placed on probation for 16 months. That chapter in my life was the mark of a new beginning for me, I promised myself not to let my mother down again. It was 2004, Legends@Siglap opened.
I really am glad that I am comfortable now and that I can give my mom anyting she wants and bring her out and just chat with her, we're like friends who went through think and thin together.

Conclusion is... Without either of them, I would not have made it this far. I am not a millionaire yet and neither am I so great yet, but where I am today, being just right, comfortable enough and my aims are clear, its all thanks to my parents. The biggest fear in me is... Losing them someday, I just pray that they will have many more years to live and I promise them that I will still continue making them proud... My only sadness is that I wish they could know how sad I am when it come to their lives as husband and wife...

Before I wrap things up, I want to say something about Marie.

Marie, she was just some girl I met a couple of years back at Madam Wong Club, we were barely just hi and bye kind of friends, but somehow, fate if you believe it brought her into my life like a whirlwind... When she quit her job, I offered her one at Legends, I never liked to lie to people, so I just explained to her a guage of what she could be and become. I won't say what I said here in this blog as its private and this is VERY public, but I'm just happy that what I promised then I kept it. Marie is no longer a friend, you know why? Because she is now family, actually all of the Legends team have become family, even their family has become my family... But Marie is different thats why I want to just write it here to keep this memoir embedded in cyberspace... She is a gem and truly an important person in my life... (Don't get me wrong, no romance involved here...haha).. She has been a great influence in my life and she has taught me alot, afterall, she has been in this line of work longer than I ever was. Marie means the world to me, and she knows that I always got her back anytime. Its a weird kind of mutual and platonic bond we have, In a way I feel that I am very protective over her... She knows how protective I can get... Haha... Punch Punch, Kick, slam, smash!!!!
Nonetheless, I can think of no other girl that I am truly trustful off, but Marie is one person that I trust with anything. She knows when I am down and she is also always there for me to lend a listening ear and give me advice. She has done so much in the business and she played a major role in what the business is like today. The rest of the team also are so precious to me, I'll write about them another day.
I know you are reading this sis, just want to say thank you for being you and thank you for coming into my life and my family's life too, my dad always speaks very highly of you and says that you are his adopted daughter. Haha. Once again, thank you sis for being so special. Saying that Marie is fabulous would be an understatement. So when is our next night to party again? ;) haha...

Good night readers. Thank you for bothering to read...

On Formula One and Psychotic Ex-girlfriends...

2008-09-27T04:11:00.002+08:00

This last past relationship I had with Pamela would probably be a wake up call for me... a REAL wake-up call... We broke up like 2 weeks ago and she is still fucking bugging me... She even got into a cat-fight with some girl whom I was dating 'non-exclusively'... This is the 2nd time this year that this kind of shit happened, 5 months ago, it was Charmaine and Chanel, Wednesday it was Pamela and Kelly... Honestly, I can only look at the whole scenario as more hillarious then shocking... I really dont get it, Pamela broke up with me, then she asked me back and then I said no, and then she suddenly turned into some psychopath who threatens me with shit like revenge... Hmmm... I would just think that she had life way to fucking easy with me. Its not love, I really don't think it is, I just think Pam was just to in-tuned to my lifestyle and she was enjoying every moment of it... Could you believe that she would sms one of my staff last night saying "I know Gavin is with a girl in the pub, I am waiting for him somewhere around!!!" Freaky? Hell yeah! I was so fucking wrong about her when we first got together... I know I am no angel but this kind of psychotic behaviour is out of the fucking question. I guess who ever reads this would find it rather blah blah...

Updates... Just spoke to FJ for some advice on my current state... I don't know why, but FJ always brightens up my day.

My brother gave me a pass for the F1 trials today, it was very much amazing being at the F1 track, the noise from the engines were excruciatingly LOUD, bought ear-plugs for like $12 buck a pair, those shop owners sure know how to capitalise on ANYTHING... I will update more tomorrow, I'm a little tipsy now...

Beautiful girl...

2008-09-23T03:00:00.003+08:00

I'm fucking tired already, the ex-girlfriend who dumped me is threatening suicide and is becoming very obsessed with me... Not as if I look like Brad Pitt.. I wish... But for once in my life, I'm actually scared of a woman, I'm just tired of all this lovey dovey bullshit, I'm not cut out for it. I don't get it man, she dumps me, now she is regretting it because I have decided that yeah I want to be single and focus more on my career ... What do women want??? Really!

We already broke up like two weeks and she still text me stuff like I know you are with another girl at home and so on... Its fucking annoying. But I'm just keeping my cool. Dont want to escalate things to dramatic proportions.

I've been already so stressed out with work and the up-comming full running of our new Orchard Towers club, its going to be called Legends@Orchard, its going to be a whole new ball game but I know we can do it with our concept. Its been a hectic and rough week. Whats stressing me out more is the ex-gf.

I met a few new people lately, there is Geraldine, another pub owner's daughter, there is Vanessa the girl from Hong Kong and Crystal, the girl from Siglap. I'm not interested in pursuing anyone or anything at this moment in time, I know any relationship is going to end up in trash after a few weeks or at the most a month... Really too much work stuff to think about...

Walking on...

2008-09-16T04:34:00.003+08:00

Again, here I am back to my bachelor ways, I don't know why I just can't be in any relationship. Probably just not the right person yet. Went through a pretty stressful break-up with Pam last Saturday, well, she broke up with me and then now she wants to get back and now I don't want to get back and blah blah blah...

I see no point in being in a relationship at this point in my life, now that my career is starting to build, I have much more important matters to attend to. There is no doubt that I really do love Pam but its just that I don't like anyone controlling me or even trying to change me. It was a rather stressful relationship we had, although there were fun times and for the fact that she loved Lani (my God-daughter) alot. I still worry for Pam and I would be a fucking liar if I said I don't love her or miss her, but I guess life just goes on and only gets better. She just does not know that it pains me to think back on the times we shared, I am human too. Our characters were just very mismatched. Its like two individuals with a different approach in life. I miss the time when she and I were in Bangkok, I just wanted her to enjoy herself and shop as much as she wants and just leave an impression in her. Healing my wounds has become so easy through the years of numerous break-ups, but it still does hurt still. I still wake up in the mornings thinking that she is right beside me only to realise that its all over. With everything happening so fast for me and my career, I have no more space left in my mind to juggle a relationship over work and rest. But I have to be thankful that we're still friends. The time will come someday for me to really settle down but till that day comes, I'll just be working my ass off and not looking for love.

This month started off quite slow for business but is picking up already. Nothing much eventful happened in Legends except for some shouting and firing... I've been drinking alot lately and most of the nights I'm there at the bar till closing. The moment I get home, I just crash out.
We're changing the key-boardist for another person with much more brain cells then the current.
I have met a few new girls lately from clubs and a little partying, Vanessa, Kelly, Sharon, Sally and some other few... Nothing yet, not expecting anything either. Well, I can finally find more focus in my work and have some solitary time to myself. Anyway we'll be re-branding our other outlet at Orchard Towers, changing the name to Legends@Orchard. I see the Legends brand name growing, slowly but surely, it sure is tough work, I have lost 8kilos in 2 weeks! I'm still down with a bad-ass flu and I have been really moody too.

FJ has always been a sweetheart, she is always there for me when I am in deep shit or when I am sad, she and I really was a waste... I love the funny sms's she sends me to brighten up my days/nights. I hope she is really happy now.

Susan also came down to the bar to find me yesterday and to have drinks, it was nice seeing her after so long, she was an interesting ex-girlfriend. Its always weird when ever I have a break-up, all the other girls in my past seems to pop back or just appear.

I just got back from Thailand about 3 weeks ago and I already feel like taking another vacation, but I doubt it would be anytime soon, too many things to handle and I think I have wasted enough money this year already.

I'll keep you guys updated on the building of a new Legends outlet. Good night everyone.

Burn-out

2008-06-16T02:20:00.002+08:00

Another week has gone...Its been so...soo.... hectic... I'm waiting for the news of when Tiger Beer would give me a travel holiday since we hit the quota of beer sales at Legends again. Really need another short holiday. And talking about holidays, a customer at my bar is taking me on a holiday to New York City probably in September I think.. This guy...he has been supporting Legends for all the wonderful years and have grown to be like family. Its rare to find friends like these... Well, my childhood friend are now more than friends, we are already like real brothers. The longest I can stay in New York is about 2-3 weeks... I can't neglect Legends...
Our outlet at Orchard Towers is picking up, business is slowly but surely getting better... It sure is a whole new ball game there. I know I complain all the time that I'm tired and burned-out but when I start looking back and think, legends is really heading further into the 'game'... I just had a chat with my dad a minute ago and he said that since I'm young I should just go for it... He told me that its not going to be easy but I have to keep it up and make everything happen... The sky is truly the limit.

Went for a good friends wedding today, it was great, actually his son is my God-son... so it was an important day for me as well... I doubt I'd ever get married, I'm just not cut out for it... Well, I have two God children now, my dear Lani and Danny... :)

Just thinking... the other day, i was walking past a food joint in Orchard Towers and I saw one of my 'Foreign' staff member and anoter of her friend who also works for me, one was eating and the other was just watching, there on the table was a plate of plain white rice and just a sausage, no gravy no vegetables nothing else... So I asked the other girl why she was not eating and her answer was that she had no money... I may be stern and strict but I have a very soft heart... So I bought them dinner... It made me think how much I take my life for granted. There I am everyday during lunch time grumbling at the bad choices of food in the Legends vicinity, I order expensive meals but never finish the food, I grumble when the food takes too long or not up to my tastebuds... And then there are these people who actually have not enough money to even have a balanced meal... I guess I am guilty... I am a serial food waster...
No wonder when ever I over order food in Legends, the girls will tell me "Boss finish your food and don't waste!" .. Thats just something to think about...

I have to go now, its going to be a crazy Monday tomorrow..

Too many things... Just too many...

2008-06-02T05:35:00.002+08:00

Sunday... Legends was just as crazy as the other nights... Its just so crazily scary if you look at the evolution of Legends... The new Legends @ Orchard Towers is finalised and my dad came into my office this evening and told me FULL STEAM AHEAD... The flyers will be printed tomorrow and the posters will be up.
Someday in my old age, I want to look back at this blog and smile at all the stuff that I have done... Good and bad...

I forseee myself being extremely busy for the next 3 months at least... So friend... if you were to call me and ask me out for some fun.. Apologies... I really won't be able to... Even my China holiday will have to be put on hold...

Alright folks, more photos will be up in my next post...

Pieces of life...

2008-06-01T03:38:00.002+08:00

I have been facing alot of fucking headaches lately... Its not like major tragedies, but its all the accumulated thoughts that are driving me insane... Mostly its work stress, and of course there is all the other stressful and unessesary crap from individual people/women...

After the Phuket trip, I have yet to take even an hour off work... Everyday its just craziness... I'm deeply tired.
Business has been awesome this whole month and I know its only going to get even better. I will be heading up to China to visit a Peter, might even consider something there in the near future... Oh! Almost forgot, Legends will be operating another outlet starting this 7th June, its at Orchard Towers and its called 'The Bridge by Legends'... Same concept but with a more daring approach... Its going to be a whole new ball game! I sat in my office this evening and thought about alot of things, about how far Legends has come from being a neighbourhood bar to something which is so crazy like it is today... I'm really looking forward to turning this whole nightspot career into something larger, something which I would have only dreamed about... Somehow I know I can do it...

As for the love life part... Nah... absolutely no time at all... There are suitors, mostly pole dancers (hahaha), or random babes from MOS or so on... But not the time... I'll give myself another five years to build something big (career wise) then I might...MIGHT consider finding a partner...

Marie keeps telling me that I should get back with FJ... Not that I don't love FJ, its just that why spoil something good which is happening for her now... I guess everyone has their time... Its just the irony that I can't stand... the terms of which we broke up... the fucking irony... :S

The months are passing way too fast, its already mid year... Two more months and I'm turning 26. I'm looking on the bright side, still young in certain aspects... Aim... buy a property by next June, something realistic, something small... Next goal... 5 years from now... 6 bars all over Singapore.

Ok, dreams aside, sleep next.

2008-05-14T02:33:00.000+08:00

whats been up...

2008-05-14T02:10:00.003+08:00

Its been awhile since I updated this blog. Alot has been going on in my life, good and bad... I realised that the past does come back to haunt you even after a long while... Sometimes even when one has changed, the past just rumbles back and smacks you like a tidal wave... There is no where to hide... A mess I created before would have to be cleaned up...I'm just hoping for the best... afterall, hope is in abundance... I'll just face the rap... Been feeling real down lately...

Other than the bad stuff, the other aspects of my life have been fruitful, the pub is doing well, dad is proud of what I have done for the business and everyone else is happy... The parties every Friday are awesome and nothing less of great...

I just got back from Phuket, I call it an impulse vacation, I was just surfing the net and decided to book tickets to Phuket alone, I went there and on the 2nd day, some girl bought a ticket to meet me there, it was nice though... she makes great company and I do like her... But I am just not prepared to be in a relationship right now... Obviously nothing serious... Apart from some problem I'm facing now, I'm having pretty much a great time...

I compare myself to the previous Gavin and realised how much I have grown, I party less, I work everyday of the week, and all I can think about is building an empire of nightspots in time to come... I seem to become more focused. I know I can achieve more... I'm turning 26 this years and I'm worried that time is passing too fast... customers say that I am still young but I have done a fantastic job with the pub, but I want to expand... I want more... I want to be larger than life is itself... Running bars and nightspots would probably be the only thing I would ever do... I'm loving every bit of it... although it drains me sometimes... Peter is still asking me to start something in China and he would back me... But I am yet to decide to jump in... I know he would guide me and teach me the ropes to bigger clubs, but somehow I feel my comfort zone is in Singapore... But who knows... I might just pack up and head up. Time will tell...

Have been suited up with many women lately... But I steer clear off anything serious... These women just come and go... I guess its the nature of my career that allows me to be this liberal. Temptation is a killer... Each time I meet a new girl, she would probably have an even hotter friend... And sometimes friend bring their friends who bring their friends and it just magically works out...I wine, I dine... Then I get bored...

Anyway, will stop here for now... drowsy... on medication...

Future...

2008-03-30T02:45:00.002+08:00

I took a day break from the pub today (Saturday), thank God for great staff which can totally take care of the business... I went to see a doctor, down with a bad flu, probably due to the excessive drinking for the past couple of weeks.

It has been extremely hectic for the past two weeks at the bar, business is great and everything seems smooth sailing except for the fact that I have been so stressed... Well at least all is happy... I look back and realised how much I have changed as a person, just a couple of years back, I was busy not with work but just having fun and dwelling in my own thoughts, I guess I have come a long way when my dad asked me to take over the running of the pub. Initially, it was all play for me, now is just to make it all "WORK" and see the fruits of labour grown and blossom. Its gratifying.
I Still remember three and a half years ago, Legends was just a pub like any other, the music was mellow and the atmosphere was just very 'pubby'. And when ever I suggested that we needed to change and think a little out of the box, no one did dare to try, I guess it was not the time for me then... But when I was handed the key to running it my way, I threw away all the old Cd's and ordered a new industrial sound system and started mixing trance and more R&B hits... I guess it worked because although the clients and guests are not the usual MOS or Zouk crowd, they grew to enjoy the party scene and feel young again...So I take it as that it was a risky but successful move... Then came the dimming of the lights and the ordering of lasers and strobes... Now we're talking... I still have a load to learn...

Then I met FJ, she taught me tons about accounting and now I see the joy of knowing where the money is going and what are the exact profits down to the last numeral.

Right now... I just want to head on further and hopefully one day I could be a bigger nightspot operator. An ex nightspot big boy friend of mine whom is now based abroad was chatting with me over MSN this evening, he's asking me if I would like a chance to make it bigger... But I would have to be overseas for a long time to handle the clubs there and learn as I grow... A part of me wants to go and I somehow know I would make it but the commitments I have here such as Legends and so on makes it tough... There is a higher chance that when I come back to Singapore I would have learnt the lions share of the nightspot industry not only in Singapore but regionally as well... Its a real tough choice... I would be given an apartment, a car, good money... and so on... but how? I think FJ knows what I'm talking about... I've got about a year to decide...

As for my love life... I have been dating a few, no spark yet... Just seeing a variety, I don't feel I can commit to anyone now... The last relationship for me was a tremendous blow and I just think I'm not cut out for this whole relationship stuff...

Dreams for the near futre??? Well, of course I want to expand... My dream is to own at least 5 pubs before I turn 40. And probably running more bars overseas too... I don't expect to be the next Dennis Foo or the next Zouk but I know that this dream is of reach... I just need to thread carefully and plan the steps I have to take to reach that goal...

My friends are all doing their own jobs and to be honest, I'm really proud at my group of childhood friends whom I grew up with, its amazing how far we have come and what is even funnier is that my career was the most predictable one ever since chidhood... I always remember the times when we all went drinking and clubbing when we were underaged and I thought that I would someday be a nightspot operator... Well.. It has been achieved...

Maybe someday I would have made enough to buy my dream penthouse and enjoy walking down a street knowing that the row of small concept bars belong to me... Till then, I will have to continue on this journey...

Down...

2008-03-14T02:50:00.002+08:00

I don't know... I've just been feeling rather down lately... I don't even want to drink... I'm moody most of the time and my temper.... seriously...my temper...

Everything seems to be going well for me but yet something is missing but I just can't figure out what... Sigh...
The fucking weather is not helping either, its been raining for the past fucking four days!!!!! I really feel like just stopping what I'm doing and just buy a ticket to anywhere and just take an impromptu vacation... Vietnam...Cambodia... Wherever... Everything is driving me nuts.... Ergh!!!

Its been a FUCKED UP! Week!
Everything is just fucked up!!!!!!

F.O.C.U.S

2008-03-13T06:43:00.002+08:00

Lately... I've not been having much of a drive... It feels like there is no octane pushing me to focus on what I want... I'm restless, I'm strained with fatigue and I find it hard to relax. I hardly get enough sleep... Yeah I complain alot... Business is a little slow the past few days... Could be a few factors, number one is the fucking freaky weather... its not even supposed to be heavy precipitation month. The other factor could be the end of another financial year... It was the same last March anyhow...

Woke up this morning and the rain was fucking pouring buckets!!!! Nonetheless, I still had to go to work... Got in drenched at 3.30pm and did the accounts... The same routine... Spent the rest of the afternoon/evening shuffling between my office and the bar counter... Managed to stay off the alcohol for five days... Broke the spell with a bottle of Hoegaarden beer... Gave me a headache almost instantly...

Something really pissed me off today... or should I say someone... But I won't get into that right now... Anyway, he's been pissing me off for quite awhile now... Don't push it.

Focus...Focus... Thats what FJ would say... I am trying... the problem is, focus on what... I'm always doing so many things at the same time... I need to get more xanax, mine ran out last last two weeks... I don't even have time to get my meds...

I know I'm going to have a long... long........... hectic day tomorrow or should I say today.... But I can't sleep! Been trying to sleep since I got home but I just can't...

I need to go to the bank at 12 noon then head to the airport to pick some 'people' up... then head back to the pub and finish the routine and brief the new staff... I'm going to start planning for another short vacation soon...

I'm going to try and get some sleep for now... Oh FJ... thought about something just now... You got out of a relationship with somewhere in nightlife and now you're with a person in the F&B line who supplies stuff to people in the night life... The irony... Just a thought...

Night.

Dinner with Elly...

2008-03-12T06:14:00.002+08:00

Dinner with Elly, its been awhile since I went out for dinner with ANYONE, well.... today wasn't exactly a date either... known Elly for a long while actually... Had dinner at Werner's Oven at Siglap... She picked me up from the bar and then drove down to have dinner... Fantastic food! Well... thats the deal... dinner and then she sent me home... I felt like the girl today...

Spent the rest of the evening at home watching Las Vegas on DVD and then went for supper... Got home and continued watching Las Vegas... That wraps up my life these days... Got to stop my sloth and think of new concepts...

Oh... Cindy called... Miss her a little... Nevermind...

Rest...

2008-03-10T04:01:00.002+08:00

Finally I managed to get some away time from the bar... Its really rare that I could take a day away on a Sunday, but its different because Marie and TIno were there tonight and I just went in for like two hours today to finish and compile some paperwork and collect some money from someone...

The day started off pretty well I must say, went to Siglap and had lunch with myself at Cartel, bumped into Elly... Pretty... She smsed me and asked me to meet up on Tuesday AWAY from the pub... I would have to find a way to meet her then... Anyway... read the papers over lunch... My favourite past time... I can read the papers over and over again... Its a compulsion...

I then went to the pub and waited for the staff to arrive... Had a chat with my old chum Peter the Kiwi who has been the bars supporter for eons... The staff arrived and I went to my chamber... the OFFICE... Calculated some accounts shit and did some costings... I'm getting pretty good at accounts man!!!! Thanks to FJ... Then waited for someone to come down and pay me... Then I went to rent the 3rd season of Las Vegas... Also bought two books... Freakonomics and Think and Get Rich... both highly rated... I'm a sucker for best sellers... Oh... also got to know a girl by the name of Vivien on the escalator in Siglap Centre... she was on her way down and me up... so I signalled her to come up which she did and I can't remember what I said and I only had a pen on me... so I scribbled her number on my palm... I got to stop meeting people like this...

Had dinner with mom and sis and Lani, then came home and watched a few episodes of Las Vegas, then read a few pages of each book and watched more TV and then went out for drinks with some girl and came home by midnight... Watched more TV. Surfed the net and here I am typing away... Tomorrow is a CRAZY day... I can feel it!!!!! Monday's are always like that...I always get snappy on Mondays and the girls at my pub avoid me at all cost... I would snap at their dressing, their punctuality, their make-up... everything... I'm bitchy when its a Monday... Even my dad steers away... But it all get better as the scotch flows and the beer pours... I should be fine by 10pm...as usual... Drunk by 2am... Home by 3am and awake till 6am.

Wild things...

2008-03-08T01:49:00.002+08:00

Friday nights at the bar are always a mess... a good sort of mess, the pole dancers and the tequila girls are a fun bunch and I never fail to get an indecent proposal from either the dancer or the tequila girl... Today it was the same tequila girl who tried smooching me the last week... Crazy... As most know, I'm always half drunk by 11pm, but I do know what I'm doing and who's watching... I try to avoid such encounters as much as possible... But sometimes you just have to let loose a little... guys SHOULD be guys! Well, tonight, NO........ I have to wake up like damn fucking early tomorrow to head down to the pub to do some clearing up... My shelfs and rackings are arriving and I need to arrange my stuff... Decipline...

Some girl Marie invited down bought me a drink today... I think she works for lifebrandz or something... Can't remember the name though... My mid has been a blur these past whole week... With weird women professing their love to me and some other weird happenings... Met up with FJ at the bar the other day.. I missed her... Heard she has a BF now... we had a nice talk about stuff that was bothering me and all... Its amazing... she could probably be the one and only girl who I would actually take advice from... Well... FJ if you're reading this... I took your advice and I'm taking it simple and trying to relax a little... Been surfing the web for my next tour... Hmmm.... Cambodia might be on the itinery... Or maybe its back to Manila for you know....

I was at Club Nana last night.... Drunk... Marie dragged me down... But I promised her anyway... I left around 3.45am... I just had too much to drink... If I stayed any longer I would have spent much much much more than what I would have wanted to... I guess In Legends I watch the men buy drinks for the women and when I'm at Nana, I just feel that I should do the same for the gals... What goes around comes around... the economy gains anyway...

Chantal came by Legends today and she wanted to speak to me in my office... Hmmm..... nothing much actually.... her Birthday is tomorrow and I had a Birthday kiss from her... was it supposed to be the other way around?
She is one complicated person... I sworn myself away from such individuals... I think I'm already in a very complicated world myself...

A girl smsed me today and told me that I should not even think about marriage... That I should just enjoy the life I have now and blah blah blah.... Me married? That would be front page news...

All my friends seem to be settled down... with their girlfrieds and their lives...It just only makes me wonder if I am the only one who is "usettled"... Would I ever be? Sometimes I set myself thinking if Maybe.... Just maybe I have a little feeling of jealousy of my childhood pals who seem to have what they want... a good girlfriend... a day job... I seem to be the black sheep... the one who gets drink and high for a living... the one who meets way too many kinds of women.. the one who does not trust too easily anymore... I somehow envy my close buddies whom I grew up with... Would I ever settle down? The possibility is slim...

I'm low on the anti-depressants... and I don't plan to stock up... Fj said that the induced happiness which those pills give me would only confuse the natural wellbeing of my thoughts... But sometimes the days are unbearable... The alcohol helps...

I have plans for turning my office into a private V.I.P area for my clients... Which only means that I would have to rent another space above my bar as an office cum bachelor pad... This could happen in the very near months or even weeks... I would take it as a brilliant idea, most days I'm totally pissed and the last thing I need is to hail a fucking cab and end up sleeping in my garden...Anyway a little extra privacy by living on my own would be a splendid experience...

I'm planning to buy a car by mid this year but I'm still calculating the want versus need in getting a car... I drink almost or should I say every night... I'm stubborn... And I would probably not even use the car for anything but running small errands for the bar... So maybe I should just stuff the cash in the bank and fuck the idea of getting a car... Beats me...

Anyway, bed time bells ring... The routine starts and I need me dear, dear...dear sleep..... Good night...will keep you people updayed on any new happenings in my life... If you would want to bother knowing... Good night everybody...

Loneliness sets...

2008-03-02T04:14:00.002+08:00

I have realised how lonely it can get when you have no partner... I know is pretty to find a partner but its probably not going to the right one anyway... So I decided to just concentrate on my career.

The day went well, was in a little bit of a foul mood though... Proble because I didn't get enought sleep... Some guest were really getting on my nerves my talking giberish to me... Well, all in a days' job I guess. I've been trying real hard to catch some sleep but to no avail... Also, I thik I'm falling sick... been vomitting alot lately... I doubt I'm pregnant though. My migraines won't seem to go away too, people I know says its stress... I would certainy agree.. Having a tough time doing everything in the bar, from banking at noon, to acconting at 2pm, stock take at about 4pm and the running of the pub till closing which is at 2am... I'm totally burned out and am at the verge of a breakdown... No one seems to fucking understand though... I probably need another short holiday soon... anywhere will do.. just need a fucking break... i

My eyes keep shutting while I type this... So I think I'd better stop for the night... Lets just hope I have a more interesting to write about tomorrow... Good night everyone.

Night industry, its a pit-bull fight...

2008-02-27T03:58:00.002+08:00

The nightspot industry can be a real fight... not spoken or written with arogance but with pride, I would say that Legends is doing fantastic and the we my dad and I have gone a long way with the business... The concept is working fine and I foresee only better nights and greater achievement in the very near future. But with things flourishing, I am starting to get really overworked... Its back to the stress medication again (Xanax). Its helping quite a bit...

The days are rough... Just a couple of days ago... A group was creating trouble and I had to 'dispose' of them... I was really boiling but had to maintain my cool and not use any violence... The main trouble maker was just pushing it... Telling me he is some gangster and all that bull... Called a very close buddy and checked out who this guy really is or what he claimed to be... Turns out he is just a nobody with probably the connections of a kindergarten graduate... Its always stuff like these that happens to be too impromptu and unforseen.

In case you people are wondering, I'm still single and I'm just not going to be in a relationship anytime soon. One of the pole dancers who dances at my bar keeps bugging me to head out but nah... I find her too 'Ah Lian'... Well, I should not comment too much anyway, some people look at me and think I am "beng'...

I'm planning to finish up my back piece tattoo soon, then I can proceed to finish the two full sleeves and complete the front. Hopefully it could be done by August...

Opened up my spreadsheet this evening and realised that there are quite a few fuckers who owe me alot of dough... Well, some are making restitutions while some are just avoiding... Need to knock some doors real soon...

I'm still deciding what car to get, but I'm not in a rush... Probably mid year or August... If one of my customers makes up his mind on getting a new car, I would take over his Beemer.

Was at the airport the other day to pick 3 'friends' up... Tried my luck at doing a quick pick-up of any girl I saw who deemed presentable... Chose one... some girl struggling with the trolley and bags... Was too easy... I didn't ask for her number, just helped her with her luggage and pretended not to be interested in her... Worked great... I passed he a business card and left it at that, she called within the same afternoon... Invited her down for drinks and then we went somewhere else for drinks but nothing happened... It was just for the fun of it... Afterall, my theory is that picking-up a person does not have to mean picking-up to head to bed... Friendships are made and its healthy... I even get a kick out of picking up guys!!!! I mean... they could be potential customers at my bar anyway... So, I came to a conclusion, if I were to pick up as many girls and buy them drinks at my bad and make them feel comfy, I would be able to draw in a different crowd of guys at the same time, so why not pick guys up too! I know its not that brilliant an idea but at least there are returns...

There isn't much interesting stuff to write about lately... I'm just keeping up to date of the happenings in my life... Will try to write again soon... Good night...

What dream may come...

2008-02-03T06:18:00.000+08:00

It has been hectic and chaotic... My bartender left to pursue a career in insurance... Hope he does well. I'm stuck with low manpower at the bar till the 18th of Feb when the new guy joins us... The pole dancers are back every Friday and the crowd is filling in everynight... All I do these days is just work just to get my mind off my worries and problems... Life isn't so rosy lately... I hate the thought of being home, was actually planning on moving out by the end of this month... Probably going to rent a unit somewhere to double up as my office and 'hideout'... So many things are bugging me and I have been at my wits end trying to fend off my frustrations... I feel so much at ease when I'm left all alone... The Xanax I have been taking for the past few days helped quite a bit... It calmed my nerves and eased my mind... I try to do some good but instead I get blamed and made to be the bad person all the time... I don't expect anyone to help me solve my issues and problems... Probably the best solution would be for me to just live alone and keep to myself... The bar is doing extremely well and no other bars around the vicinity can even come close... But that is all that is making me happy these days... I feel a sense of contentment when the crowd pours in and the money is raked in... I guess I found my forte...
I hardly sleep these days and I just don't feel well... Some days I get so depressed I just can't wait to down a few glasses of scotch just to drown the emotions away... To make things worst, the flu I'm having does not seem to go away...

Been having strange dreams and nightmares.... recurring dreams which shows me falling and just falling... I dont know what it means... My surroundings are making me insane... The last thing I want is to fall back into the same state I was a few years ago...

But what ever it is.... I'll keep pushing for the better of things...

Bad start of a new year... two thousand fucking eight...

2008-01-07T05:29:00.001+08:00

The New Year eve bash at the pub was a blast, it didn't start of crazy actually, but the staff made it happen, especially Brian the bartender, he went on to the podium and the pole to dance and I made all the girls dance with him... They danced to Destination Unknown... By 10pm, Marie and I started popping the crackers and the party poppers and shot one stream of confetti across the pub to boosts morale and I turned the bass and the volume up.... The party started! I went round and made everyone drunk by asking all to down their drinks before the New Year as we should all have a full glass to welcome in 2008. By the stroke of midnight, the mood was of crazy revellry... I grabbed a bottle of champagne and shook it hard and sprayed the crowd... BIG fucking mistake... Soon, everyone was splashing water and throwing ice everywhere... Customers were pouring jugs of beer onto each other and I grabbed the whole ice bin and emptied it on the people in front of the bar... It was a 'sentosa party' on steroids... I got smooched by god knows who and I was too drunk to even remember... The party went on till 3am and the place was a watery mess... Thank goodness my dad left early... It was a rowdy night but definitely not something anyone is going to forget... Customers told me that our place was the only place with a huge crowd... the neighbours were empty, but I don't care as long as we do our own stuff and maintain our concept.

The New Year itself ain't going well for me, alot of shit has been happening and I just think that its not gonna be a smooth time for me this year... Hopefully after Chinese New year, my luck would change for the better...
I complained to my mom the other day that I'm really feeling down and stressed out lately... Can't really explain why though... There's too many issues... I've also decided to tone down on the partying and keep focused on my goals... Marie knows I'm very down and she has been real kind with her words... She keeps me cheerful while I'm at the pub... They are truly family too... Legends is like a real life soap opera...

FJ came down to the pub today and played pool and she likes the new games machine... it fucking rocks right??? Soduku... It give me a headache...

Met up with another ex girlfriend the other night, her name is Chloe, didn't see her for like 5 years... She just suddenly called and said she wanted to come down to the bar and visit... Strange... Had a few drinks with her and caught up on old times... Heard she is getting married... And thus the question of when is my turn... ME?? Hahahaha.... Some customers ask me, how and why do I remain friends with ex girlfriends... Well, to me its just mutual, why be enemies when whats over is over and the past were just memories.

The past few days were tough... My temper was bad and I just couldn't get a proper nights sleep... But anyway, I'm going for a short trip on Friday and probably going to Manila at the end of the month... Don't know about the Manila bit yet... Miss the partying scene there... I got drunk on ten Singapore dollars... (Inclusive of cigarettes)...

Alright, will report more soon. Good night.

Tough & rough week I had...

2007-12-17T04:06:00.000+08:00

The days are passing so damn fast and the bells of Christmas are audible now. Business is great but I have been so jaded and breathless, I have been grouchy and moody not because of the business but because of tiredness and fatigue, the sleeplessness does not help too. My insomnia seems to be taunting me! Been dating around but still not interested in anyone. Not for a long time I guess. Met a new girl by the name of Bernie at the pub. She bought me liver supplements as she says I drink too much and I should take efforts in maintaining at least an average healthy wellbeing. Sweet girl. She says she is 28 but I beg to differ. Benefit of the doubt I would give.

Everyone had their bonuses and all are happy working. We're all planning a great Christmas bash at the pub, I bet this year will be smashing! Last 2 years were crazy enough but I still think this year would be awesome. As for the special someone whom I really want to spend Christmas with, it has to be FengJia (AKA FJ). I miss her...

A girl told me last night that my zodiac sign and me wearing too many diamonds clashes and it would cause me to lose my temper easily... Thought about it today and she might be right... Should forget about buying the diamond bezel ring for my watch.

I in a dilemma on which car to get now... Marcus said I should go ahead and get the Airtrek Turbo, but I'm still deciding, will make up my mind in January I guess. Hopefully by then Pater would decide to let go of his Beemer. I still like the BMW. The Airtrek a little pimpish, but some friends say it suits my persona....yeah pimpish (nice friends...)..

Alright, I have to go now, busy Monday tomorrow.... Gavin versus the contractors! Good night everybody!

Been around... So much is happening... Too eventful...

2007-12-03T05:55:00.000+08:00

The past few days I have been feeling totally grouchy and stressed out over many things... Some things I just can't write about. The figures for last months sales was good, in fact great comparing to last year... November's are known as a bad business month for pubs, but we made it! The staff were of great help and played a very important role in the building of a 'new' Legends pub. And since the pub has gathered a huge customer base in the past years, we have transitioned into a private and members only club. This was, we can syphon away the trouble makers. Business have boomed lately and all I want is to work harder and make December a record breaker.

I passed my driving, and I got my licence... 1st time!!! Waiting to get a car soon. A BMW would be awesome... I have one in mind...

Apart from that, I have been feeling down lately, but I have Eileen/Elyn to be thankful for, she has been accompanying me at my pub for the past many days... A really sweet girl. Pretty, sweet, funny... A real sweetheart... Audrey makes me laugh alot too... Have been going out quite abit with the bunch of guys, but I seriously can't keep up with the getting home in the morning bit... Fun bunch of guys though. True sense of 'brotherhood'.

Elly came down the other day to look for me at the pub, I have mixed feelings... We're close yet I guess we both just enjoy each other more as friends then anything more... After my break-up, I just have this crazy fear of jumping into another relationship... people who don't know me well, say I'm a player... I don't know man...
What is a definition of a player I sometimes ask myself... I may date and hang out with various girls but its all mutual.. There is Hui En, the one with a boyfriend who insists on breaking up with the boyfriend so that she can see me more often, that scares me... I didn't promise anything... Then there is Mavis, the thirty four year old accountant who is sweet but I just don't want someone who mothers me too much... then there is Sarah who I really enjoy talking to but nothing more, how about Chantal, the modelling agent who needs me to meet her just because she needs a hug... I met a girl in cyberspace by the name of Nadya, really intelligent and also a real darling... great girl, although we haven't met yet. I would definitely love to get to know her better... We're of the same 'breed' too... Eurasian mixed Chinese... Nadya, I know you're reading this... lol... I'm not on a hunt for love or anything... Just that I keep getting myself confused...

Back to Elyn, I can never spell it right... The time spent with her is great time spent, although I'm doing my stuff at the pub, and I feel bad that she has to be left alone sometimes... Nothing is going on although the staff think otherwise, but I have told them that nothing is going on between us. Which is true. What I find amazing is that I only knew her for like a really short period of time but have grown pretty fond of her in a different kind of way, its probably a protective kind of way... She knows I have been really upset lately, and her kind words console me... Happy for her that she managed to get through the interview for SQ.

Fj is on holiday in Turkey, I asked her to buy me a carpet and a lamp from Turkey... What I really need is a Magic lamp and a fucking flying carpet... I still care a lot for Fj although its been quite sometime since we broke up, I hope she finds someone who is in the same industry as her. Her industry just clashed with mine... And I know its very tiring being Gavin's girlfriend... I still miss her laugh and her sms's which makes me crack up!

I realised, the problem with me... I think too much and I tend to worry more about others than myself, I make people happy but forget about my own happiness... I just want order.. everything must always have a certain order in my life, and if that order is broken I would be very moody or fed up... The shrinks call it Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... Its like clockwork... Just like how, I plan a whole day ahead before it even begins. What I can't stand is laziness... I know I was lazy sometime back but those days are gone... I realised the time I wasted last time was time wasted in making money...

Monday... The weeks past too fast... Working seven days a week is no joke... The accounts are killing me, there is no one day where I can escape the excel spread sheet! The word EXCEL alone makes me wanna cry! Mondays...call suppliers, meeting with the staff, banking, plan payouts... SMS customers, design posters, skip lunch, skip dinner, take stock, spin music, do my other accounts, read the papers, check emails, reply emails... The list goes on... Monday's are a killer, I'm going to try and take things easy or I'm going to burst...

Alright... bed calls... tired... I hope tomorrow would be a better day...

Getting real...

2007-11-25T04:00:00.000+08:00

The week has been a mix of enjoyment and stress... Attended a friends wedding and realised how time really flies, I'm really happy for him that he has decided to marry the girl of his dreams. It was a wonderful wedding, its great seeing him sombre down and become a new man. I remember the times when we were really naughty, like times when we would steal people's prized 'Luo Han' (Its a fish)... When we used to go and just get ourselves into trouble... Those days are gone and we have all grown...

I have been plagues by problems and confusion the past few weeks, the work load and the day to day running of the bar is very stressful. trust me, having to drink everyday is no walk in the park, especially ehen...even though you're so tired and moody, you have to smack a smile on your face and please everyone... sigh... I know I can make it bigger in a few years but the transition period and the fighting force towards my goals seem like a huge challenge. But somehow I know that I'm going to get there someway...

Singlehood is getting dull... People around me think I'm having a whale of a time... Yeah I guess I'm free to date whoever and the freedom of choice is always there... This is like the Gavin before but yet something about me has changed, I seem to have created a new persona for myself, I play hard but I am working even harder... I just know that some of the girls out there are just after the glamour which comes along with having a bar... But honestly... what glamour??? The ladies come the ladies go... I really don't give a damn... I'm not looking for anyone but it does not mean that the special someone is not out there... Well, a relationship is the last thing on my mind now I guess... I have too many worries and too many responsibilities to handle. I'm getting really realistic these days, I have not gone partying for quite awhile... Been home reading and just trying very hard to make more meaning out of what I have now... When I started this blog, it was just a tool for recording down the progress in my life, but now it seems that even some customers read the blog... God knows how the hell they found this blog. I see my friends being really happy in their relationships... Marcus adores his girlfriend, the reast of the gang like Jonathan wants to get married next year... and here I am just doing what I do best.... Making the guests at my bar happy... Customers always tell me that I don't have to settle down and that I'm better off doing "hit-and-runs". The stigma of a player hangs above, the stigma and judgement that all pub owners are players especially when he's just a 25 year old "boy"...
I really can;t be bothered anymore... I just wake up, read the papers, do my accounts and head to the bar for another night of boozing and socialising... Some people say I'm too good at what I do... Maybe I am... Anyway, more updates soon... Its gonna be a long day tomorrow...

Exciting yet I'm getting bored...

2007-11-15T03:03:00.001+08:00

Been partying ever since the break-up two and a half months ago but its not like I'm doing it to 'escape'. Its just that since I don't have a girlfriend to be with, i might as well hit the streets and paint the town red... But it has simmered down a huge bit... Its always the same old shit at clubs I realised... Drink, party, chat with strange people and strangers. Get high, get a whole load of mobile numbers in my phone and I can't even put a face to those numbers... I don't even know why I party sometimes... Probably because of the great bunch of friends I go out with... Each time I head out, I accomplish my feat.. you know what I'm talking about... But to a mundane feeling the next couple of days...

So, I have decided, just party once a week when only I feel like it! Been spending the past two days fucking searching for some mother fuckers who owe money but yet to pay. Screw the money, but these mother fuckers should have some damn principals drilled into their thick heads. But nonetheless, I will still get it back, via malicious means...

My sister, husband and the two kids are down for good from the US, finally the house has some action and I just love the sound of kids running around in the house... I look forward to the bloody intelligent conversations my God-daughter and I have. Especially the debates... She's four years old mind you but brilliant! When I tell her not to play with windows, she says she is good with windows, when I tell her I'm bored and need a girlfriend, she tells me to invent a magical perfume to draw women... And the other day, she tried to hook me up with a 50 year old lady because she thinks that lady is HOT! Kids... Love them, but don't ask me to have my own just yet... in 8 years time maybe... just not now...

Business is growing fast and we're looking out for another venue to run another bar... I feel that through these times, I have learnt so much while running the bar, things I would never learn at a desk bound job, the power of suggestion, telling the lying guest from the truthful guest... And the number one career choice that customers always lie about... they always claim to be a pilot... some are just pirates!

I bought a new bed which cost a fucking bomb, but its worth it, gives me good sleep and thats what I really need. I still need another holiday... But I already had two this year...

Will post again soon. Good night.

Night Life is my life

2007-10-16T04:43:00.000+08:00

As much I love to complain about how tired I am everyday and everynight at the pub, I know that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life, but of course not just one pub but a dozen if possible... Its pretty tough to understand people like me who are devoted to the night life scene. Whats even more tough is actually finding a right partner, but I'm not getting into that anymore...

The business has been great and getting even better. The whole pub is like on 'auto-pilot' mode. The happy hour crowd is growing rapidly and my dad and I decided that we need another floor staff fast! Probably someone who has worked in the night life or is already in the night life. Experience is a must, just like my great bartender and my two super sharp waitresses... They have become family. Who ever is interested, feel free to contact me here or email me at thisisblondee@gmail.com .

Also looking for freelance dancers and tequilla girls. If you think you have it, why not flaunt it!

Ok enough of the advertising crap...
Life has been good lately, moved in to the new house and I'm loving it. Been to lazy and I just have no interest to date anyone... Its such a chore... Anyway its secondary. Well, there are a few girls that do contact me out of the blue but its just friendly chatter and so on...

Might be heading down to club this coming Wednesday, don't know where to yet though, either MOS or Plush.
Pretty sad that one of my supervisor friend at Plush was demoted from supervisor to captain, he is one of the reasons why we all go there... Now we don't know if we want to go there or even ask friends to go there. Not going to be the same... I don't know, this guy Gary is great man, he knows how to entertain and at the same time damn good at his job! He should be a manager instead of the other guy, don't know his name... that guy is damn fucking childish and immature... Told him off a couple of times already... Su Ann the door host is good too, so is Chloe and Tin. But I still hope that Gary would be back in a better position soon... As for the bosses of that place? Hmmm.... don't know them, never seen them... Don't bother... I always believe that not everyone is cut out to be in this line...
Plush is a nice place to party if you have your own group of friends though. Anyway, FBI, Marie and I just party ourselves and who cares about anyone else...

There will be some pleasant changes to Legends soon, so keep a look out!

Have a Good night one and all.
Cheers!

Transitioning

2007-10-08T06:35:00.000+08:00

Its has been a hectic time of my life, but all it worth the stress... Business has been going up, up and only up... I have the team to thank for, without them I'd just die... FBI is one super bartender, Marie and May are fast and furious floor staff! FBI and Marie has been sweethearts and have stood by me during the times of sadness I've had, they love Fj alot but they understand that the circumstances that caused the breakup was inevitable. I miss FJ but I always tell myself to let it go and pray that she is happy. I may work and party like mad but I always have her on my mind... I have tried dating some girls but its just not right... I just don't want another relationship... So instead, I decided to do what I like the most, get a huge ass tattoo on my back, I will post pictures up when I complete it... Carlston from AcideCrue Studio is the brainchild for the back piece tattoo. He is great! Want a tattoo? Visit www.acidcrue.blogspot.com

The agent for the dancers came to see me at my bar today an asked me to join venture with her to promote the agency and do the advertising for her, profits to be shared... Calculated the risk involvement, nothing for me to lose. Will probably be starting in a months time or so.

I've made plans to go to China for a week to visit another veteran pub owner, he just wants some suggestions on what concept to bring along to China. I'm pretty keen on the trip, probably mid November or late November. Will keep you guys posted.

I can't wait for my sister and her family to come back to Singapore in November, I'm not a very showy person when it comes to emotions but I miss them so much and finally the family is whole again! The future seems bright... We're still looking out for another pub to get, but no place is availble in the market yet...

My aim, is to open one in 2008 and three more by 2011.

Anyway, I have to head off to bed now... tons of errands to run on Monday's...
Take care friends.

Gavin

Could there be somewhere else?

2007-09-22T16:13:00.000+08:00

The past two and a half weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions, the break-up was not malicious or something filled with anger but yet its a lousy feeling that I don't ever want to experience again.

The past weeks, I start to wonder if she has found someone else... Its just passing thoughts I guess. Do I miss her? Of course I do.

Well, I have been keeping myself occupied with loads of work and heavy partying. Met a few nice girls but with no interest at all, I'm just to busy shaping my career paths, friends and buddies say that I am a new Gavin mixed with an old Gavin, probably because I am no longer fucking around with my life and more serious over my career but yet I still do find the time to socialise and get to know more people... The guys are extra happy because their lives are more exciting due to the fact that I have been bloody introducing more girls to them. And especially when I am going to move two doors away from Marcus, he is more excited than I am. Getting the keys to the house on Monday.

Went drinking with the staff yesterday and I bumped into Joanne, the sweet tequila girl with the dual dimples, I know she is interested but I'm not up for it yet. I just want to party and party.

This coming Wednesday, my bar guy is going to get his virgin tattoo, I finally convinced him. I'm also going to get a full back piece typical Yakuza style. Looking forward to some pain and some bloodshed...

Will also be taking up Muay Thai lessons after I settle down in the new house. My dad has been coaching me on some boxing too. I guess, in this line of work, skills like these would come in handy in defence in case....

I have pondered many adays, its really true, not many women can accept a life like mine... You have to be in it to understand it. Period.

Well, thats about all I have to say for now, just some little updates.

Oh yeah... might be giving my Golden Retriever away because my sister and the kids are coming down to stay for good and they have asthma. So if anyone can offer a good home to a fully trained Retriever, contact me @ 96844542

Cheers!

Remember this day I left with head hung low...

2007-09-07T16:44:00.000+08:00

The 7th of September 2007

Forever I will remember today, the day when we had to go out seperate ways, I really have alot to thank her for, thank her for making me the man I am today. I guess life has its cruel meanders. If you really love something, you have to set it free. I learnt.

Not many or maybe no body would accept my lifestyle, a lifestyle of neon lights and pumping beats. A life that only people in my world can see. Its a tough life.

I still love her and I know she does love me too. But the clash of two careers can be tragic. I know I have to move on and she has to as well. I want her to be happy and may she be free. At least I have the memories to cherish and keep. I will find other stuff to cover my sadness and fears. Maybe someday at my peak she would understand me better and accept me again. But till that time comes, I will still be running this pub and leading the same life. Go on my dear and search yourself. I am hurt but the fire in me always burns.

Unrest Depressed

2007-09-03T03:16:00.000+08:00

The month of September started out lousy for me.., Been having many setbacks regarding my personal life. You know... sometimes when I have decided to settle down and be a good boyfriend, barricades regarding the matters of the heart pop in and it just makes me feel that what ever I do just seems to just please no one. I work hard, I try to make everyone happy but the last person to be happy is me. People stigmatise, they judge... Are all pub owners the same? Do they all womanize and fuck around? I have found something I truly love doing and I dare say that I am fucking good at it. But... I put strains on my own life. I don't need to prove to anyone anything, I think I have proved myself that I can do this job even with all the stigmatizations of being a pub owner. If you were to ak me what i would be doing 10 years from now, its going to be the same. But unfortunately, it ain't easy accepting my job scope, no one said it was going to be a bed or roses, which business is...

Business have grown tremendously and my thoughts have grown as well. But somehow I feel so dissapointed that no matter how hard I try, it just isn't good enough for anyone. I keep my demons to myself, I fight it alone and I think I can solve all me troubles alone... The past few nights have made me spin right down to the bottom and I am just so tired... tired of every single thing... am I a good boyfriend? I don't know.

I just could'nt take it just now and for the first time in 6 months, I popped two anti-depressants, I feel more at ease now...

Tomorrow is a start of another brand new day at work and I know that I would singlehandedly settle all the advertisements and design work for the pub plus do the account, take stocks, scold the 'girls', push for sales, please my loved ones, get drunk, find a replacement bar tender, set quotas, set targets, create new concepts and the list goes on... Stressed out? I sure am... I don't need anymore shit!

I always told anyone, if they are not happy with who I am, don't tolerate me, you're free to roam and search for greener pastures, I am not perfect, but my principals are intact. My goals are set and I see my future with her... Does she see me in her future? I don't know. I hope so.

Life was never a bed of roses and I forsee it would never be. But I adapt and I carry myself up again and again...

But lately, it had been too much. I feel so drained... I want success, I want success in the relationship. But I can't do it alone,

I seriously wanted to be an Art Director, but I couldn't take my degree, I could have been one by now, but times up! Now I have the pau and all I can think about is making it more and more succesful than it already is and open new outlets to make more money and give you security... I've told you all I had to tell you today afternoon. I hope you realise what I had to say. You know I love you to pieces, but when you REALLY can accept my scope, then tell me. For now, I do best, making everyone happy and contented...

Its painful yes it is... A dissapointment too hurtful to describe in general literature. You know what I mean.

You brought me up from a nosedive and I hope I don't come crashing down all over again...

The sky's the limit Gavin...

2007-08-13T04:16:00.000+08:00

Sunday was a usual bore, the pub was pretty much quiet tonight, probably due to many factors. One of which is that, hungry ghost festival has started and many believers would have to be home to prepare offerings of which were to be burnt and offered at the stroke of midnight. Other factors for the low crowd volume tonight was the fact that many enjoyed a long weekend and its back to work on Monday.

I took advantage of the situation and went for a massage, my wonderful staff bought me massage vouchers for my Birthday as they knew its what I need most since I'm always just working and not anything else. In case you're wondering... The massage was refreshing though I'm pretty sore now.

I had dinner with my dad this evening and as usual we chatted about work related stuff, he told me that with the stuff I'm learning and absorbing in my chosen line of work, I could possibly be a very seasoned operator in a few years time, probably with a string of pubs and bars. But he also warned me not to take big risks in doing business. Minimal risks, safer business.

I stayed off liquor for today, I always try to keep off alcohol on Sundays, especially when I was so fucking high on Friday night! Has quite a bit of sake and more beers and scotch at Legends then I headed to Attica to meet FJ and her friends, had more beer and the final bit came when the bartender at attica bought me a beer, that was the final straw... The trouble with me FJ say's is that I like to self whack my alcohol as in even though people don't ask me to drink, I would pour my own drink and wack! I don't know but I find that phrase from FJ damn amusing... She is a funny girl! And I love her...

I'm still putting cash aside for the next pub, still scouting around for location. No hurry but pretty excited.

Anyway, I will try to keep you guys updated on anything interesting. Off to bed now..
Cheers!

The party and the post parties...

2007-08-04T19:18:00.000+08:00

So... I turned 25 on the 1st of August and the party at Legends was absolutely smashing, it was an EXTREME fullhouse event that created a night of revelry! The pole dancing girl was crap and the bikini show was so-so but who cares anyway... Everyone had fun and I got drunk and ended up on the pole with a blow-up-sex-doll. The drinks I had that night were insane. I was dead drunk by 12am and FJ had to send me home... But nonetheless, it was a fantastic night which many enjoyed (Especially when the buffet was fabulous). The SQ pilots were really partying on and the liquor and Tiger Beer suppliers were partying hard as well.
Thanks friends for making my special night a memorable and crazy event.

happy to see my childhood friends too. Even Carlston and the gang were down...

last but not least... Sales was brilliant!

FJ's gift to me was a trip to Bangkok which we spent a whole chunk of money shopping... Makes me wonder how we spent so much money in BANGKOK when everything was supposedly cheap... Lol.
The scrap book of memories she made me was sweet and I loved every page of it including the pages of me drunk... hmmm....

Anyway, more to write later on, I'm in the pub now and I need to go grab some dinner... Cheers people!

MISSING IN SINGAPORE !

2007-08-03T04:05:00.000+08:00

I Guess many have read the article in the papers that a girl by the name if Felicia Teo Wei Ling 19 has gone missing a few weeks ago. Her friends and family are devastated and it would be of great help if everyone chipped in to help spread the word and awareness to keep a look out for her. She is a final year student at LaSalle-SIA which is also my ex-college, so I hope that all my LaSalle-SIA friends would take the time to help spread the word of the missing girl. Please spread the word through blogs, web journals, forums, yahoo classifieds or what every media medium you can find. This is the link to the original blog for her search www.findfelicia.blogspot.com

Every little effort counts in finding Felicia.

finding fel,loving gaia pls come back home
a close friend of ours is missing ,if happen to see her pls hold her up, call the cops @ 999,for leads or infomation can call the Police Hotline at 1800-255 0000. Crime Library at 62935250

You are all invited for my Birthday!

2007-07-27T16:32:00.000+08:00

Venue : 725 East Coast Road. Legends Pub.

Friends and strangers are all welcome!

Its been so..so...wild and frantic...

2007-06-30T04:45:00.000+08:00

Days past just like that! It feels like just yesterday when FJ and I were looking at May's accounts and now its already the end of June, it has certainly been a crazy month that emerged awesome! I have to credit my bunch of SUPER-STAFF on that. I guess, all factors came in to place and there's only more hard work to be done to keep up the good flow... I must admit I'm really very tired and stressed but I know that hard work pays off. FJ has been very supportive and I really love this girl! She is a God-send!

I Don't really have much to write or should I say don't have much energy... But friends, especially those who have been supporting Legends Pub, thank you all for the continuos support! Legends would not have come so far without you good people! I never knew thatI would meet so many beautiful people in my line of work. More drunken nights to comes! Salut!

Launch of Legends Official Site

2007-06-17T04:46:00.001+08:00

Visit : WWW.legendspub.net

Just so tired...

2007-06-04T03:38:00.001+08:00

Sunday... the most tiring day of the week for me, when Sunday comes, I know that I had squeezed all the energy out of myself. What makes me happy though is that I know that all these wasted energy has paid of greatly. Business has been climbing up real fast and the pub is really packing in more guests each day, I have a sense of accomplishment but yet I am getting really up to a point of collapsing... I'm not getting high of alcohol these days, I'm getting high on stress!

I guess, its a healthy form of stress... Maybe...
I'm looking forward to going shopping with FJ this coming week, Emporio or A/X should have started their spring/summer sales. Armani always revitalises me...

Well, enough nagging for me. The pub tonight was great for a Sunday, people are having more disposable income. Has a few glasses of scotch and some beer. Didn't want to drink too much. Closed up at 2am and FJ sent me home, her driving is getting much better, especially her parking.

I have so much work to do on a Monday, so I better fucking get some rest. Check in tomorrow people. Cheers!

Paris

2007-05-25T01:13:00.000+08:00

I have a love, her name is Paris, with light brown eyes and silky blonde hair, she crawls to me on all fours and licks me all over, she jumps all over me when I get home from work and she just can't wait to get some attention from me. Oh Paris, you're such a bitch! Literally... I adopted Paris from Pasir Ris Pet far, Paris is a golden retriever which the previous owner gave up for adoption because he had to migrate or whatever... Well, finally I had the time to actually adopt a dog, been procrastinating on the idea for quite awhile, been pestering FJ for a puppy too. So, yeah... I got my new dog! FJ is still a little afraid of the dog, hope she gets used to the dog soon. My mom loves Paris. Hope that Paris would bring a little security to my mom when she is alone while dad and I are at work. Paris is too friendly to be a guard dog though. Wanted to get a rottweiler, boxer, german sheperd or some other motley dog but FJ is gonna freak out. So I guess a golden retriever would be a safer bet. Will post pictures of Paris when I take some.

I have been so fucking tired lately... I really need a complete switch off day soon or I'm just gonna collapse anytime.
Great Singapore sale is coming up and maybe shopping would do me some good. FJ would love the idea.
Fishing would be the next great idea.

Anyway, I got my hair trimmed and its no longer blonde, I miss the blonde hair and some customers say that they miss it too... Hmmm.... probably not gonna get it blonde but maybe a colour change next week would brighten up my life a little.

I am gonna stop here, getting fucking tired... tonight has been TOO eventful... Bloody hell!

Too many topics to cover... In random order...

2007-05-15T03:21:00.000+08:00

This fucking blogger site is really screwing up big fucking time man... I think the scripting is really off...

Anyway, been awhile since I updated this daily "read shop".

In a short burst... Had a beach themed party at Legends last Friday (very successful)... Went on a yacht with FJ today for a vodka launch (sub-standard). Had a day off from work tonight (alas!). had a new tattoo done last Monday (Not completed). Drank myself silly (daily affair). Broke someone out of a locked toilet (Sunday). Lied to the sales girl at the DVD rental place that she lost weight to get my list of un-returned DVD's deleted (Today)... Read on for more fillers...

I've been in a pissy mood for the past few days... Couple of days actually... Not a serious kind of pissy mood, more of a tired pissy mood. Been bitching to FJ about the local 'men-in-white'. You know what I mean yeah? I just think that what ever they say is never justified. "We need more babies" for our new generations... What do they do? They (judge, politician or whatever) give custody to a estranged mother to bring the kid to another country. Makes no sense... Thats just one of my grouses. They encourage young people to start businesses but the stipulations are stiff and more confusing than the rubix cube. Think out of the box the big Lee says... What box???? The same freaking box with the lid shut with us inside? Yeah that box right? Easier said on television...
But being an optimist, I feel that although with all this red-tape bullshit we have to cut through, if one were to fight on, we can still make it... At least I hope so, being submissive is just gonna fucking drown you in our country of rules.

Every once in awhile, the topic of gays would emmerge, when was it? Last week? We claim to be so liberal... WOW! Gay..Gay...Gay... So what? No body trying to get in their back door what! Let them do what they want. Its not a fucking plague, it won't fucking spread... So scared of AIDS, close Geylang...or Orchard Towers... or Desker Road... I just think that these clowns in white just have nothing else more important to discuss. So its a case of... "Hey, economy growing, we getting FAT cheques and nothing else to bitch!" "Lets blast on any topic and see what happens"...

Smoking ban! July man! Am I happy? Fuck NO! I think this rule is purely fucking stupid. People have been going to nightspots for decades and they tolerated the smoke, why ban it now? You know why? Because...other countries also did it... So monkey see, monkey do... Or we will be left behind in the fucking imaginary race to being a fine city... Coffeshops, smoke within the yellow box and the smoke won't float over to the NON-smoking area, wow! Scientist must have discovered a special paint man! Yellow paint that won't allow smoke within the box to leave and float to another table. Kudos!

Remember the no spitting rule we have? We had it for donkey fucking years but it only got stricter last year when one jailed for a week and a few others fined. Need to show fellow Singaporeans a bit of colour thats why arrest a few maybe... I'm oblivious... Lately no one got caught spitting.. Almost a year has passed. How about lift pissers? Nope, no one caught yet.

You know what I fear? I fear the thought that a man in Singapore actually managed to smuggle in a fucking gun and shoot a KTV boss execution style... Here I am at the airport and they check my luggage my contraband and bootleg DVD's while some SG MAFIA walks through with a gun... All this happened while they were probably catching the outside-the-yellow-box-smoker. That is national security my friends...

So, no smoking in bars and clubs in July, how? What can we say right? Too bad... then these clown will come around trying to disguise themselves as customers and CATCH smokers who light up in bars... Time well spent. Maybe weeks after July, a gunman might smuggle a rocket launcher in while they check my bag for 7 ringitt cigaretts at the causeway...

Christopher Lee Goes to Changi for Drink Driving...

First time when I saw the article, I just couldn't stop laughing... snobbish actor with the made in Malaysia tag... He think Singapore like his home town? Ahem... here's 50 ringitt... can I drive away now? ;)
So anyway, this fella is really going to sit down for a month in Changi. Hope he gets to pick up the soap every morning... What the hell was he doing in Desker Road anyway? You think he really went for his favourite curry rice? Its Desker Road at 4AM!!!!! hmmm... Makes me wonder...
Fann Wong's baby boy gonna miss his little fann's fanny...

Alright, I'm really sleepy and I better get the fuck to bed, hopefully I'm not too bitchy tomorrow night.
Cheers!

In Loving and cherished memories of my late grandfather.

2007-05-03T02:30:00.000+08:00

The 2nd of May 2007

Today marks the 5th year of my late grandfather's death, Conrad Bertram Pereira. A great man whom I give my utmost respect. A man who brought up seven children during times which were difficult. The granpa that would have so much patience in looking after his grandchildren. Grandpa always had time to explain things to me when I was young and I always knew that grandpa knew all the answers. He was magical in every way!

Granpa also taught me how to fix stuff and when ever I look back at times, wehn I was much younger, I laugh at how much patience he had with his grandchildren, especially when I would know were to find batteries for my toys in his drawer, grandpa always kept batteries in case we needed it for toys. He also taught me how to make a battery tester and gave me magnets and so on... I guess heaven needed a good man and a handy man too!
Grandpa, if heaven has internet, I hope you are reading this. I love you grandpa and you will always be in my heart. I have changed for the better and I hope you are happy, I remember the last words you told me before you pased on, you told me to be a good boy and study hard. Those words are etched in my mind forever. I took some time, but I am well now, I am doing something good with my life. And its thanks to your words too. I dreamt of you last week, you looked happy. And you came to Glenn's dreams too right? I guess you've been a busy grandpa roaming in our dreams. I promise to do well in life. As for now, till we meet again!

Body has been in a terrible shape lately...

2007-03-26T03:57:00.000+08:00

Realised that I have not been taking care of my health lately, fell sick twice in a month... this month! My cough just won't fucking go away and the cough mixture just helps to sooth it but the cough would be back again in a matter of fucking hours. Been having cold sweat as well due to the lack of rest and so on... Not to mention the diarrhoea. Need more carbon pills. Should start on a vitamin diet soon too... I am concluding that I am falling sick due to work related stress, now that I am also doing design work and at the same time running Legends. I'm pusing on 9 more days and its a long awaited vacation for me and FJ. FJ has been a darling to me always, always being there for me when I'm so stressed out, I wish that I knew at least something about her job that I could help her with but sadly... Audit just ain't Gavin.

Was reading the article from The Business Times on Towkay Wong AKA Perter Wong from Madam Wong's Bar, pretty neat article which highlighted his heydays and his steep fall from being a big player in the nightspot industry. Fantastic article, he said he'll be back in the scene soon, sure looking forward to what he has up his sleeves... I SMSed his after reading the article and comented on the nice photo taken of him, he said he didn't know he looked so good (something like that...), interesting fella'. Should be meeting up with him soon for a few beers and plenty of gossip.

Sundays has never been good business night at Legends last time, but thanks to the new promotions and new ideas, the pub was rather busy tonight. Can and will do better though. Been a hectic but fruitful week. Tomorrow is another start of a hectic new week, the papaerwork are piling up and I have one more design job to complete by evening or latest Tuesday... Sigh... Its all work, work and more work... Why can't I just strike TOTO?????????

I meet all sorts of individuals at the pub, my primary school teacher comes to drink pretty often and today he asked me : "Hey Gavin! You still with the same chick?" Fucking funny, imaging my primary school teacher asking me that!!! Plain weird I would say. There I was with him a few months back at the pub discussing which girl was hot (About 6 months ago). Imaging a 65 year old man and a 24 year old guy talking about the chicks... And to make it more interesting, the senior guy was the younger guy's English teacher.
He popped by Legends suddenly one day (about 7 moths ago) and I recognised him right away. Pleasant surprise. The last time I saw him, I was about 12 years old. Same night, he invited another chap, my secondary school dicipline master, the same guy who 'rotan' me every time I broke major rules. But alls cool... Memories like these are really priceless. KODAK moment!

Past few nights, I was drinking quite a bit, especially with the pilot... Fun bunch of guys to drink with. Glenn is one complicated guy. Promised the pilot a case of wine when he gets hitched.

Holiday!!!!!!!

Can't help it but I'm getting very enthusiastic about the vacation with FJ, she needs a break too. Poor girl has been working days and nights over her laptop. Well at least we managed to go shopping today... Club21 sale... Hahhaha...

Alright, time to head off to bed and have some shut eye.. Manic Monday!

Beyond the ink...

2007-03-22T02:13:00.000+08:00

The ink covers my skin, the ink tells a story, a story that would scare a many, the past stories of destruction, the stories of hate and anger. I never expected myself to be a figure that would create plenty of gossips. Till this day, I still hear people who knows what I was and what I am today, well, lett the past be the the past. I guess, without the past there won't be the present Gavin you know. Although I know that people mean well when they say that Gavin is so much more different from his past, it still affects me that people know about my past. But I know that I must learn to accept that the past is NEVER forgotten.

Fj fully understands how and what I feel... The people who placed doubt on the relationship between FJ and I have swallowed their words. Thankfully. I try not to bother proving myself to anybody but myself, but somehow, people just take interest in a life so mundane such as mine. It makes me wonder.

It dissapoints me when ever I make a new friend at the pub and think that he knows nothing about me, but then he tells someone something like... " Gavin is so different from his past self", I don't even know this people, who are they? Who tells them? Who bothers? Who cares?
It becomes a scary thought...

Fantasies and dreams of popularity. they came true, but at the cost, its not what I want or need.To each his own friends, to each his own...

I must learn to realise that all these may never go away. Years down the road, I promise myself a name I would build for myself. A name that 'judges' would respect. A name belonging to the same Gavin, the Gavin who was notorious, wild and competitive. But yet... The same old Gavin as he would always be. Sincere...

Good night.

Just about 2 weeks and its vacation for me and my baby...

2007-03-18T04:50:00.000+08:00

RELATIONSHIP

Finally the days are passing and Fj and my long awaited vacation to the Phillipines is ariving. Really looking forward to it, I sure hope this trip brings her more joy to the relationship. I know it isn't that long that she and I have been together (say.. 5 months?) but it sure is a big deal to me, I know its going to be a wonderful life spent with her. Looking back at my past attitude on life, this relationship feels like a miracle, I never thought that I would be in a relationship, I thought that the life I would lead would only mean flings and spinoffs with various women. Looking back at past entries on this blog, I am shocked at what a change I have made to my life. The drugs are gone, the sedatives, the anti-depressants... the casual sex, the flings, the wild party's... It just stopped when I met the 'one'. Somehow I feel I owe it all to her. I guess the only signs of the past Gavin are the wounds on my arms and body, the battle scars of life. I look at them and thank God I'm alive and it also reminds me to keep my head above water and not drown in life's turmoils. I foresee a clear and bright future and that life would only get better each day. I'm young yet old in thoughts. I still see friends my age playing with fire but it only reflects what i could have become if I had not woken up from a slumber of wilderness. For now, its work to build up a steel future in the nightlife and progress to the next level. These have been the thoughts for the past two days.

BUSINESS

Business has been good lately, though I know that it can be better. The new batch of staff are great and its pleasurable working with experienced staff who care for the business and love their jobs. My stress level has dipped tremendously ever since I had the new bartender especially. At least I know my trip to Manila won't be spoiled by me thinking too much about the running of the pub.
I have given up thinking of why customers spend more on certain days and not the others, its just too random and almost impossible to see a pattern. Just have to keep it up and conceptualize more new ideas to draw in the crowd. Thinking out of the box is EXTREMELY important. I guess my dad did a fantastic job in building up the name Legends. More pub in the future? Looks bright I must say...

WHAT HAPPENED LATELY

Nothing much happened lately, an 'ex' called me the other morning to chat, all I wanted was to end the call as fast as possible... No point talking too much yah? Over means over for me. Spent alot of time talking to the guest at the pub, interesting to hear their problems and worries. Just like Mr 'L', he had a misunderstanding with another guest the other night and now he is worried that the other guy might pick a fight with him, so the other night, both of them were at the pub and Mr L wanted to leave, so I walked him to his car to see him home safe. Poor guy... Nice guy though. He is my daily chat partner at the pub. His lucky seat at the bar today brought him luck for soccer. He is so 'Pantang'...
Didn't drink much lately, been cutting down drastically lately.
Went shopping with FJ the other day at town, she bought a COACH purse and I bought an Armani Exchange shirt, planning to go shopping with her soon, maybe next Saturday or maybe a week day after she finishes work.
Peter Wong SMSed me the other evening to tell me that Madam Wong Bar has moved to a smaller place within MOMO, but I doubt that I'll be going there again, all the previous friends who worked there have left, and Peter is hardly there too. Miss drinking with Peter though, chatty guy. He has loads of business ideas and concepts for nightlife. A true veteran.

Alright, I think I'd better stop the rambblings for now, good night everyone and have a great weekend, in case you're wondering what I'm up to, I'll be at work as usual, drop by for a drink yeah? Cheers!

Working lie so stressful...

2007-03-10T03:29:00.000+08:00

Yeah... I know that as a woking adult its no bed of fucking roses. A couple of grown men were having an arguement over some call-girll today, fucking childish... But what can I say right?

Had my tattoo coloured and touched up today by Carlston, looks good!
Woah... Drank a little too much tonight, glasses after glasses of whisky's... I'm impaired now...
Business was great today, it better be...

Will write more when I am hal as sober as now. Cheers people.

One month and a new post... finally eh?

2007-03-05T01:22:00.000+08:00

Been a damn long while since I updated this blog, my sister is bugging me already... Truth is, I have hardly been able to find time to surf the net due to the hectic work schedule.
In case you all are wondering, I have been working every single day for the past few months, hopefully I can get a day off tomorrow when all the other staff and part-timers are in full swing, I would probably just head down at opening to clear the accounts and then be back later at night to close the pub.

I've also been down with a bad flu the past few days, been coughing blood in the morning and had a fever two days in a fucking row... dying... Too stressed out with work and circumstances at work thats why!
Thankfully, FJ was rather understanding and very helpful. FJ makes a great work buddy and a wonderful gf.

Just another month more and I'm going on vacation with FJ. Can't wait! Just have to work harder this moth for higher income and sales for the pub.

February was good but I still think if a little more can be done, it could be better in the near months. But firstly, have to settle some other bullshit before the creative juices can flow.

I'm also looking forward to seeing my sis and her family in Singapore soon. WHEN sis??? Everytime I look at the photos of my God-daughter and nephew, I am still very amazed that my sister is a mommy... But then again... down the road, friends are going to look at me and say...Hahahaha... Gavin is a daddy. Scary thought!
I'm proud of my sis, from a notorious and rebelious girl from K.C to a mother who is capable...
I remember how my sis and I would play traunt in the mornings and head on down to East Coast waiting for time to pass till about 10am, then we could head home because our parents would be at work, and sometimes... while at home, my dad would come home and we would have to hide in the balcony or if we get caught, we would say that school finished early or something, but we always had each others backs. My sister once punched a guy in my school for picking a fight on me in secondary one and I threatened a guy on the phone when he kept on harassing my sis. Sigh... what a childhood! Remember sis, the time when I was banned from anywhere near Katong Convent because of the vandalism case at block 51?
The priceless thing my sis did was to actually just snip off a chunk of a girls hair because that girl was a pure bitch.

And hey sis, don't worry. there are still some ex-bf's of yours whom I am looking out for, and when I see them... hehehe...

With all that said, I just hope Lani and Logan won't be as naughty as us. And if I have kids, I would tell them that daddy was an alter boy who collects stamps. Don't know how to explain the tattoos though. But if he were to come home crying and say that some kid in school hit him, I would tell him the same thing I was taught, get your ass back in school tomorrow and break the kids nose and show him some blood. It worked for me, and I'm sure it would work for Logan and my kid.

Would be funny though if Lani was the one beating boys up in school. Feisty!

Alright everyone, bed time. Have a great start of a new week.

Gav

Alcohol kills germs.

2007-01-23T03:08:00.000+08:00

Hi people. Seems like I have been keeping up with postings lately eh? I guess I have been quite free lately and I have not been procrastinating writing this blog.

About two night ago, I dreamt I caught a snake and it bit me. I can be quite superstitious at times and I took it as something bad was coming. And yesterday as I was making my way down the stairs to my kitchen, I saw a snake in my hall, so I caught it and kept in my fish tank. Yet to find out if it is venomous. There is an eerie irony to the dream and reality. Might be meer coincidence though. But the bad omen sure did come, I shall not emphasise on what omen came about. But its nothing severe. I am still keeping the snake. Planning to buy some crickets for it tomorrow and keep the snake as a pet if its not venomous.

I feel damn sick today man... Came hope to sleep for 2 hours after finishing the accounts at the pub. My lips are chapped and my body damn week already. Been consuming too much alcohol lately. But I guess alcohol kills germs.
Decided to open the pub on Sunday's to earn extra. Going to be tiring but good training for myself I guess. Need you nice people to support me at the pub. Come on down soon and drink with me peeps.

Day off... Finally a day to get my mind off work...

2007-01-22T01:10:00.000+08:00

The weekly anticipation went alright, FJ stayed over last night and we watched a great DVD called Conicas... I'm not going to do a review on it. Go watch it yourself.

We went to town today, wanted to buy some PS2 games but the fucking shop was closed... Thats the problem with Ah Bengs, they open as and when they fucking want. CB!
Anyway, walked around town and ended up buying a Braun Buffel wallet, its with a money clip (My favourite kind). Hope this new wallet brings luck to me. Heh...
Wanted to buy a pair of shoes as well, I happened to see a pair ay DKNY but sad to say, they were out of sizes. FUCK! Might head on down to buy the Puma shoes which FJ prefers. She refuses to allow me to wear the Steel Toe shoes as she say's its 'suicidal'. She knows what she meant.

Watched Gridiron Gang today. Great movie and rather inspirational. Watch it yourself.

Anyway, when the movie ended, we headed down the escalator from Lido, downstairs was an old lady selling tissue and the time was (11:30pm)... She was about 75-78 years old... Makes me wonder where the fuck are her kids! We bought tissue from her as it was the only thing which we needed. She was sellling stuff like a bun and a can of peanuts. Sigh... very disturbing effect it had on me. I told FJ that we should ask her where her kids are and pass my mobile phone to her for her to call them down and when they come down, I would beat the fucking daylights out of them. Very disturbing indeed. Can you imagine that every stranger that walks towards her is actually 'hope' The same hope that would add a few cents or dollars to feed her. But people shun her like the plague, only a few people were seen buying from her. But the rest detoured upon sight of her. But like what I always say... no one can save everyone. Just do good and make that minute for that person happy. what is a few dollars when you can be shopping in Orchard right?

Tiresome yet satisfied.

2007-01-17T05:42:00.000+08:00

Started the day by heading down to the bank to cash out a cheque and then took a cab down to the police station to give a 2nd statement to the cops regarding the Kenny-stealing-credit-card incident. By the time I got to the pub, it was operating time. Was so damn fucking tired but I had to finish up the paper work from the previous night. The crowd came in early today probably because the rain stopped rather early. Business was good and much better that the previous weeks. I guess people are starting to come out after a fresh new year. Spending power from them is getting higher too. I had a few beers with a persistent customer who really..... pesters me to drink everytime he sees me... Gosh... Also sat down for drinks with a New Paper sports writer, had a few interesting perspectives being a journalist. But most of the time it was all talk about women and the usual pub talk. I had a great time at work today, really motivating myself to bring in more cash for 2007. Lately its been an all work and no play scenario.

I'm planning to get more tattoos done on Sunday if Carlston is free. I got to start planning for a design to fit my back, it feels empty. Might get a design relating to something vintage or maybe dark. I really don't know for sure yet.

I seriously have to start planning for the Manila trip which I want to take Feng Jia along. One of the Filipina's offered me her house keys in Manila so I won't have to pay for a hotel. So it only leaves me with the spending money. I really want to bring Feng Jia on a trip and go shopping and do stuff that couples would do. Great girlfriend she is, she has been helping me out with work and also talks to me about concepts and such. I guess my dreams are important to her as well. Love her.

I'm an uncle again!!!! My sis gave birth to a big baby boy (Logan Aaron Palmer), he weighed 7pounds 7!!!! I guess he follows uncle Gavin (I was a 9 pound 6 baby)... Happy that my sis went through the pregnancy safe. I bet my niece Leilani Ann Palmer is really happy that she has a little bro now. I just can't wait for them to get their asses back in Singapore and the family can be whole again.

As for me, I am still indeed very tired but the thought of running the pub and making it even more successful satisfies me. I don't want to be the next Denis Foo, I want to be better. But I know its no walk in the park.

Anyway, I am looking out for a bunch of girls who love to play pool and chill out at pubs for drinks, I'm willing to invite this group of girls down to the pub for FREE drinks and pool at least 2 times a week. Yeah its a marketing tool which two party's gain. Drop me an email @ thisisblondee@gmail.com if you have a group of pretty pool players.

I better head on to lalaland, need to wake up early and head on down to Parkway to buy some stuff and to domesticate myself further.

Cheers everyone!
Gavin

Yeah I know Its been awhile...

2007-01-13T04:55:00.000+08:00

The last time I wrote an entry was like eons away. I have to apologise for the sloth in me. Truth is, I have been VERY busy ever since I took over full time at the pub, ain't a bed of roses I must say. But its healthy knowing my direction in life. Now I know what I really want as a career. Business has been up and down and the coporate graph sure is a cunning roller coaster, keeping the sales up take loads of hard work and team effort. Was I like this before? NO! It was all fucking fun and games before. You people should come by the pub sometime soon, its a different atmosphere altogether.

2006 was a wild year with it being very eventful, I choose to sift away the bad times and only look forward to better times to come, I have TOTALLY stopped with the sedatives and anti-depressants, the womanising has stopped as well. It is an accomplishment for me in all ways. I'm haveing a splendid time being in a relationship and I would continue to work hard on making everything work, be it business or relationship.

Along comes 2007! Wow right? Time really fly's! (Passe)... But it does man! My nephew is on the way and that should bring more joy to my life and to my family. I have actually also decided to give myself a break sometimes and party at clubs, I usually hate clubbing but since getting back to the fun times, I've learnt that clubbing these days is way different when I was 21, 3 years can change alot! No more drugs and just pure fun with collegues, partner and friends. Next step is to get my driving licence and get a fucking car. (Thus, I should stop drinking).

Anyway, fast forward to today, had a few major celebrations at the pub today, birthdays...R.O.M and blah, blah, blah... The ex staff whom 'kenah' sacked from the pub came by and drank, then the foolish son of a bitch stole a customers credit card right below my nose (I was at the cash register) and he was seated at the counter opposite me, he was trying to key in the 16 digit card number in into his cellphone, so, I grabbed his had and snatched the card away from him, when I realised that it was not his card, I grabbed his phone to check if he was punching in the credit card number, I was fuming but I somehow managed to keep my composure and not hit him (I am not dumb to hit him)... I came out from the bar and grabbed the thief and slammed him to the ground because he wanted to leave the pub and he was getting rather abusive and I know violence was next... Anyway, I dragged the bastard to my office when I made the fuck head sit on the floor (I told him that by sitting on the floor, it would give him a feel of what prison would be like). I started asking him questions while waiting for the cops to arrive (They took awhile)... He kept stammering and contradicting himself, he was driving me to the limit so I just entertained myself by insulting him, I had a great time as I was hoping for a day when this guy would give me a reason to call the cops. Blessing I guess. The cops came and there was this certain 'new cop' who was damn blur and clueless who was being verbally harassed by this thief, it was hilarious because the cop was such a decent chap. So I suggested we put the thief (Kenny Loy) back in the office so the other officer could keep an eye on him. After awhile... a few more cops arrived and took the swearing Kenny away in a cop car in cuffs, it was priceless seeing Kenny being cuffed... He fucked the night up as I was supposed to be headed down to Central Mall for drinks... Damn! So...its 5:17am and Kenny is sure as hell sitting in a cell at Bedok counting ants on the cement floor. Breakfast would be severd to him in about 2 hours time and then its interrogation time and afterwhich its back to the cell again for some alone time. He asked for it.

Ladies and gentlemen, bus QX1234 is now boarding, destination... Changi Prison Complex, please leave all valuables with the cops, change out of your civilian clothes and squat while our 'gentle' wardens make sure that no foreign object is hidden up your anus. When you're done, change into our designer blue shorts, our comfortable white cotton tee and the italian 'TAT SING' Slippers. You may then proceed to the collection counter to collect your 1cm by 1cm soap, 2 fine blankets, 1 straw mat, 1 plastic cup (for brushing teeth and washing ass) and your standard issue extra compact and short toothbrush. A nice warden will see you to your accomodations. Be friendly to your cell mate and try not to look like a pretty boy, some of these old timers (so I heard) have not had a woman for a loooooong time, who knows you might find a boyfriend in there. Food will be served according to breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner... (I heard S.P.C.A has better meals). If you are good and well behaved, you can take up craft work and the occational 'group' movie screening (NO ITS NOT GOING TO BE PRISON BREAK EPISODE 3). Please enjoy your stay at Changi MEN's Prison and check out when you are ALLOWED to.

Woah! That was malicious... you see, I tend to get creative and imaginative while I'm angry. NO MALICIOUS intent to those who have served before. Its purely directed at Kenny Loy.

Added note:

Movies to watch in prison.
1)Prison break
2)Jailhouse rock

What song to sing to the judge.
1)It wasn't me (Shaggy)
2)Guilty (Only you can set me free....coz I'm guilty....guilty...)
3)Please forgive me (Bryan Adams)

Songs to sing with your cellmates.

1) I want to break free (Artists unknown)
2)I'm so lonely (Akon)
3)I'm sorry momma (Eminem)
4)He ain't heavy, he's my brother
5)When will I see you again
6)Tie a yellow ribbon
7)Spending my time
8)Turn back time (Aqua)

Songs NOT to sing in your cell or to your cell mate.

1)I'm a bitch
2)Say my name (Destiny's Child)
3)Man, I feel like a woman (Shania Twain)
4)Hit me baby one more time (Britney Spears)
5)Dontcha (Pussycat dolls)
6)My Neck, my back...
7)Milkshake
8)Just the 2 of us
9)I knew I loved you before I met you (Savage Garden)
10)I'm too sexy (Right Said Fred)

A best friend's wedding...

2006-12-15T04:17:00.000+08:00

Well, an ex-girlfriend invited me for her wedding which was held today, for weeks... I have been preparing for the wedding. Firstly, she was the first serious girlfriend I had, and it is a little awkward for me being the only ex-boyfriend at her wedding. I'm glad she invited me though, afterall, she is like family and we did once live together. I am happy for her that she has found a great hubby, met him a few times and he is a real gentleman. Feng Jia has been very supportive and she was afraid that I would be sad, but nah... It was a great reception and I enjoyed every minute of it.
Stefanie looked gorgeous in her gown and at least now she is finally happy. Couldn't help but think of when I would get married, and while I was thinking about my wedding (mom was pressuring me), I was also thinking about Feng Jia. Gosh... I love weddings man! Damn soft right? Imagine me being a groom????? I'm enjoying every minute of being with Feng Jia now, lets just see in the years to come yah?

I got back to the pub around 11:30pm and drank a little more. Was closing up the pub when a couple of my pals came in and started discussing a problem one of them had with another, then I went down to another place after closing and sat down with the other party, shortly after, the other guy came along and one thing led to another and one guy hit the other... Well, I guess that settled the dispute between both of them. And believe me, they are not your average youngsters... they are in their 40's!!!!! Aiyah, since both are my friends, the least we could all do is let them settle their own scores... What ever makes them happy right?

You know people, the feeling I have with Feng Jia is a very sweet feeling, she seems to understand me alot! She is one intelligent girl, she just does so well in helping me sort out my issues and I appreciate her so much. I bet she is beaming from ear to ear while she reads this. She fills in all the blanks in my mind. All of a sudden, I learn to focus more with her in my life.

My parents love her and thinks she is good for me, I certainly think so too. I think I know what to get her for Christmas. Shhhhhhh......

Sigh... three more days of working day and night and then its back to my normal schedule... I'm so tired man... But I guess the family business is the main priority. Looks like the only day off I'm going to get is in 2007!

Got to go now peeps, merry advanced Christmas, stay out of trouble yeah?

Like that how?

2006-12-07T03:32:00.000+08:00

Girlfriend and I have been having this little squabble over what happened when we went clubbing at Madam Wong last Saturday and today.....,,

Well. on Saturday, we went to Madam Wong's together and it was fun, only problem was that the door bitch approached me for my cell phone number in front of my girlfriend and obliviously gave the door bitch my number... It was an innocently gesture but I must admit that I didn't consider how my partner felt... And I also regret feeding the damn tequila girls cherrys'... I guess I was pretty high over the champagne...

We headed down to Madam Wong today again and... SWAY, the tequila girl had to come over and behave inapproprately by squeezing my nose and sitting next to me... Damn! I didn't do shit! Sigh..
The door bitch came over for awhile and asked me to call her on Saturday to book a place, I guess she meant well...

Anyway, I decided to tell Feng Jia How I felt about her in the cab, I told her that I love her, and I mean it!!!!!!!
Feng Jia is one sweet girl who does the simple things in life just to cheer me up whenever she knows I am facing a hard day...She buys me teddy bears with sweet notes, she buys me snaks with hand written notes and every morning without fail, I would receive an SMS that brightens up my day... What else can I ask for? She sure came into my life for a beautiful reason. And I love her.

The god Complex

2006-11-26T23:08:00.000+08:00

Feng Jia says I have a god complex, in another words, I need the daily dosage of compliments to boost me in my strengths and confidence... I have to agree, its not something like an ego but more of being looked up upon and also the centre of attention and attraction. I believe that everyong has a god complex. Its healthy and it keeps your head up. Arogance in a no-no! You gain respect from people by being humble and firstly, you have to respect people first.
So as far as I know it, I'm sticking strongly to my beliefs in having a god complex.

Madam Wong's re-opening (24 November 2006)

So, finally word is out and it was a pleasant surprise that MW is back in the scene with a whole entire new look, spectacular! Located right next to club Momo at Central Mall, was at the grand opening on the 24th and had a splendid time, especially with Mr Wong being an excellent host, Zouk may have their following on Mambo nights but the re-birth of MW is the beginning of the re-uniting of the MW culture. The people were friendly and definitely happy with the opening. Retro was the big draw! Finally a reason to club!
Went back there with FJ on Saturday ano today as well. Also found a new tune to play around with at the pub, 'The Killer's Song'

Saw III
Was not that bad, the twisted storyline meandered as usual and who would have guessed the endind, I'm not going to give you an anti-climax on the film but it would be a great movie to watch ONCE at most. Parts of the movie makes me cringe but thats the whole idea of Saw ayway. Lets play a game...

Its just you.

2006-11-18T04:04:00.000+08:00

So suddenly you appeared,
to a point it feels so weird...

Warnings were given to you about me,
let them say, leave it be.
People judge and they assume,
they just bring about their own doom.

Nobody else knows what you feel,
its your own life, not anyones deal.

Its just you who chooses what you want,
if you asked me to guess how you feel, I just can't.

People meet for a reason,
things happen in fixed chain reactions.

Life moves forward with scenarios transitioning,
it only gives us a reason for living.

I would never promise you the world,
what I can give would come slowly and minimal.

Believe is slowly but surely,
keep up your head and preserve the integrity.

Things have been happening so fast,
people around say being with me won't last.

Proving they are wrong matters nothing,
its not a game, there is no winning or losing.

What matters now is the moments spent,
the judges around would have to relent.

There are people around who believes in you,
the same people who see beyond your beauty...
the same people who knows everything is true...
the sweetness, the gentleness...
they all know it is all true,

You know why?

Because its just you.

Gavin Koh 18th November 2006 @4:16am

Pushing on to Sunday!

2006-11-18T03:51:00.000+08:00

Finally, the weekend is here and I'm so fucking looking forward to my day off on Sunday. Where to this Sunday Feng Jia? Sentosa is a no-no and you know! Roller blading if fun but damn gay... But who cares. East Coast? Anyway, I sure need some exercise.

was shorthanded at the pub today, was down to only Yasmin and me, thankfully Feng Jia helped out in the bar and with the orders, It was insanity doing its best! It was amazing how the crowd started to swell up only at 11pm.

Didn't drink too much today, shockingly! Had a few shots of Glenmorangie Single Malt Scotch (3) a couple of glasses of scotch and thats about it. Drank more water tonight.

I so fucking need to hire another waitress, PLEASE anybody.... Need a job? Part-time? Full-time? Let me know...

Sigh... Was supposed to attend a Black Label function at St James Power Station tonight but has to pass as I was busy with work. Would have been fun to actually be at another nightspot.

Well, I'm pushing on till tomorrow! Hey FJ, thanks for being a sweetheart and helping me!

Tired...

2006-11-17T04:22:00.000+08:00

In case you're wondering what happened to the post I put up last night, I deleted it... It seemed to hostile. Well, life is really going at full force for me, I am seeing this really sweet girl and I like every moment spent with her. I'm not jumping into any conclusions, I'm just enjoying the day by day happenings. I'm also glad that my ex is sort of seeing someone else. Life has to move on and on...

Been so damn tired lately... Really need to hire another waiteress FAST! Anyone interested? I can hardly drink these days, the fatigue is just so intense!

But nonetheless, its been a great past week, really enjoyed having drinks with Peter Wong the night before, we were discussing branding and also stuff like why Madame Wong closed down and blah blah blah...Pete is like the guru of clubs man. Humble guy who is full of humility. Hope that he decides to open another club in the near future.

I have also been thinking alot lately, thinking about stuff that clogs up my mind and bothers me... I hardly want to share my thoughts or sorrows, I always believe that my problems are mine and people have their own shit and they don't need to hear mine... So I guess shutting the fuck up is a wise choice.

But in a general aspect, I think I am still on the happy side of life. A few setbacks won't kill I guess.

Tanned and burnt is two different things!

2006-11-14T03:27:00.000+08:00

Finally had a real day off from work on Sunday, Feng Jia brought me for Burger King breakfast and then we headed down to Sentosa's KM8, wanted to get a nice tan but ended up being cooked! I really should'nt have applied tanning lotion to my face... I'm looking very much like a fucking lobster now and my whole body is sore and tender... I bet I'm gonna start 'peeling' tomorrow.

It was back to work today (Monday). Was a little quiet today at the pub but the collection for the night was okay! I'm really so tired lately and rest never seems enough. Hoping to find new at least one new staff to work and I can take a few days off work to actually detox.

Won't be writing much for now, heading off to bed. Will continue tomorrow night. Cheers!

Do you hate yourself?

2006-11-08T04:00:00.000+08:00

Its a rather forward question when one were to ask... "Do you hate yourself?". I was posed with that question just minutes ago on the phone. Well, to a certain cynical point, I do hate myself for what I am doing to people's lives, maybe I should stop thinking too much about everyone else's happiness and closely examine my own happiness. I won't say that I am unhappy but there are a few points I hate about myself, the main point is I tend to try to please everyone around me but in the end I end up screwing my mind over. Thats about it. I won't look back too much into the past as I feel its redundant to cry over spilt whisky... Oops, I mean milk. That wraps it up on why I hate myself.

Anyway, back to the main shit which has been going on around... A few events happened lately but most have been resolved, can't elaborate...

As for whats been on my mind lately, I have been seeing this girl for about 2 weeks already, she makes great company and matter of fact, she is a sweet girl. You people can guess, bet that some would already know who I am talking about. I don't plan to rush into anything for the time being. Just going to enjoy a slow and peaceful walk...

Planning to head on down to Sentosa this coming Sunday, finally a day off work and a true time to relax. Just hope my tattoo has fully healed by then.

Hey! Have you people heard about the Malaysian guy who got hanged for killing the China girl? Yeah... that Took Leng How guy. He finally died! I do feel sorry for his parents though, no parent should go through what they have and are still going true, but the morbid fact is... HE IS STILL A FUCKING CONDEMN MURDERER! I think the death penalty should remain for murderers but it should not be pinned onto drug traffickers. This murderer guy derserved the noose, every inch of it. Have you seen the photos of him smiling for his last 'photo-shoot' before the gallows? He can still smile! He sure was dressed to kill (pun intended). You know, I would never have the fucking balls to kill another person but that does not mean I won't torture those who have stepped on my feet. But kill? Nah... won't want to risk having a one way ticket to hell. How can anyone kill a kid???? As he walks in the valley of the shadow of death (towards hell)...

Latest news have it that former dictator Sadamm Hussein would be sentenced to hang as well, awwww..... the dictator who was found in a hole is going to be hanged. Hahahaha.... Don't hang him yet... TORTURE FIRST!!!!! Cut off his fingers and toes and his tongue and then spread honey on his balls and wait for the ants to bite! No fun if we just let him die by the rope. Certainly no satisfaction!

Anyway, I'm just passing time, heading off to bed now. Tomorrow is another day!

Life's a nbitch and then you die...

2006-11-04T03:17:00.000+08:00

Lets put it this way... life is a bitch and then you die (yeah... really die), so fuck the world and lets get high! Just the other night, I had to use the fist to get a troublesome customer back to earth. He was obnoxious, rude and very, VERY creative in hostility. So... wamm bamm and fuck you man!

Been very confused lately... but maybe its due to alcohol induced emotions. I have way too many stuff on my mind and its giving me constant headaches... Met a nice girl whom seems to fit the bill but then again, I always ask myself... "are you sure?"... I just want to take things one tiny step at a time.

Oh gosh... I got to stop typing! Too drunk... Catch you tomorrow...

Damn fucking emo these few days...

2006-10-31T02:24:00.000+08:00

I have been really feelng damn down and troubled these couple of days, but definitely not suicidal! Well at least I met this certain someone whom share a little of the same sentiments as me. The reason why I'm feeling this way is probably due to the over intoxication of scotch. I better cut down on the binge drinking, Sunday night was a terror, drinks till 5.30AM!!!!!! Who the fuck drinks till that insane hour? But good conversations were made and it was worth staying up. Tonight was no better, went to Balaclave for some drinks and then brought the whole group from Balaclava down to my pub for drinks, I seriously cannot drink beer! I was pissed out by 10pm and I fell asleep at the bar for about half-a-fucking-hour! Embarassing, thankfully Max pampered me with a damn solid massage and I felt rejuvinated after. Then I had some Piper Chanpagne... FJ came down to look for me, she looked so tired, poor girl. She makes great company I must say, very 'manja' kind of look she has.

Also had some new tattoos done today at Acid Crue Studio, was in the mood for some pain and pain is what I had, nice dosage! Long way to go to completion of my right arm tattoo.

Had the word 'Player' tattooed on my arm today, feels like a joke! But it is nice though.

For the emotional shit that is going on in my life, I came to a point that I don't want to give a fuck anymore, people can fucking say what they want but I will still remain who I am. Whatever makes them sleep at night. I'm through with scorn relationships and I'm just taking my own sweet time floating around and being what I am. You want to say I'm a player? Say all you want! You want to say I snatched your partner? Say more and I will do more. I just want to be happy at the end of the day. Good night everybody.

Re-discovering the wild wild world.

2006-10-13T04:59:00.000+08:00

Been two months of singlehood, life seems to be transitioning back to normal, I am starting to be me all over again. Like what I used to say before I entered my last relationship, so many women too little time. I can't deny the fact that I am attracted to Elly but the FACT is, I don't want to be in ANY relationship, so the bottom line is, I would probably just enjoy the company spent with her in the pub. Nothing more.

I have been having trouble sleeping and the stress I have been fighting is excruciating, sometimes I feel like I am just going to snap! Everyone around me is putting pressure on me and its driving me nuts! I seem to be carrying everyone else's stress with me and I can't take it. I don't even feel like talking to anyone about it, so I just let it eat into me and hope that tomorrow would be a better day... It never is.

I might head on down to the doctor's tomorrow evening and get some anti-depressants and sedatives. Been having way too many nightmares and its pretty disturbing too. Freaks me out and makes me paranoid the next morning when I wake up. Disturbing.

2006-10-12T05:04:00.000+08:00

My Birthday (1st August)

Thus I begin to write this blog again...

2006-10-12T04:45:00.000+08:00

Whats been up people? Celebrated the pubs 2nd anniversary yesterday and it was splendid... The place was pack to its max. Broke up a few fights between customers and carried a couple of drunk customers out, now my fucking back aches like mad! If I were to have measured the amount of puke there was from the guest, I thnk it would have filled a bathtub! Hehehe, fancy swimming or taking a dip in puke? Nonetheless, everyone had a great time. Played a few sick games with the customers, one of it was... drink as much Cordon Bleu in 30 seconds without putting the bottle down (Yeah, we drank from the bottle)... I will try to get pictures up soon but I have to resize it first.

Been so damn fucking tired lately, been working every single day with no proper rest time... Met a few new people and a few new women popped into my life... Nope! I don't plan to get into ANY relationship. I just want to have fun. Winnie and Elly have been coming down alot lately, Elly is a sweet dame, gentle by nature. But definitely worlds apart from me.

I have also been reading alot of the papers too, heard that MediaCorp's Christopher Lee was caught drinking and drving! Hehehe... He think he at Pasir Gudang ah? And what the fuck was he doing at Kitchener Road at 4:30am? Papers has it that he was eating hs so-called favourite curry rice... Crap lah!!!!! Kitchener Road is near Serangoon Road and VERY close to DESKER ROAD! Could the fella be having the itch? Maybe he just wanted some action? Drink still not enough, still want to drive, and then still knock a motocycle down and drive away (according to news). He think cars no number plates is it? Too bad so sad! Ban him from driving, send him to Changi 'Hotel' for 3 months and fine the fella! Not forgetting... confiscate the Merc! He left a scene of an accident where injuries to victims were incurred... He ain't special and deserves no special consideration... He is like every Tom, Dick and Harry! Moreover, he is not even BRED in Singapore, pay the Singapore price when you live here, live by our rules! No coffee money can be used here. Even Fann can't save your sorry yellow ass! Can't wait to see the outcome of this buggers case.

Be back tomorrow.

Death by Zoloft?

2006-10-02T05:03:00.000+08:00

Heard the news? Ex Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith's 20 year old son dies after takng a cocktail of Zoloft and various anti depressants. That sure scared the shit out of me, now everytime I take my Zoloft I start to worry... But I guess its just an isolated incident, I've been taking numerous concoctions for 2 and a half years and I'm still alive. He probably died due to an allergic reaction his body had towards anti-depressants. Tragic...

Been so tired with work lately, on Saturday (Celeste's Brthday), I was so intoxicated, but thankfully, I do remember what happened and how everything went on well that night. Met nice people that night. It was a very beautiful night!

Sunday... Spent the whole day at work, whats new right? Dad and I decided to give the 'guy' the sack, he just ca't do the job I guess. One of those things, nothing much to pity, this is life afterall, can't be keeping people on the payroll for the heck of it. I'm not being nasty but just frank. Why let a bad egg spoil the whole basket.

Spent the time after work watching DVD's and relaxing a little, had an email from Elly, gosh, haven't seen her in about a week, guess she is busy.

Anyway, its the start of a brand new week and I got a feeling that its going to be one hectic week!
I wll keep you guys up to date on anything new or interesting which happens.

Take care
Gavin

Far from sanity

2006-09-25T04:53:00.000+08:00

Confusions after confusions... don't anyone get sick of rumours and fucking speculations? Just because some girl kept pestering me to kiss her and I rejected it. Now every says that this girl is AFTER me. Hehehe... I can't be that irrisistible yeah?
Well, it all started when she tried to ask me to bang her and I rejected that advance as well. Its a crazy world.
You know what, I really like this other girl named Elly not Ally (Yup, Elly is an ex-girlfriend's friend) and Ally is errr.....
Elly is such a sweet dame and I hope we can sort of start dating sometime soon, but our work schedules clash and we hardly see each other.

There is one fucking thing I can't stand, I hate people speading bullshit about me, and I as one person knows who this person is and I will do as much harm to this person ten fold of what she tried to do to me. I will tell everyone that she innitiated the sexual advances! Damn! I always get into these funny situations,,,

Just for everybody's info, i am all of single now my options are open! I think singlehood is the best choice and also because no one has to pressure you on what to do and not to do. I answer to myself!

I hope my Ex is doing great, I bet she will, no many suitors for her! She's gorgeous thats why, but if any FUCKING guy tries to play with her, he better be running away really FAR FROM ME! My Ex is always in my heart.

12 hour work shift at the pub...Phew....

2006-09-21T07:15:00.000+08:00

I was feeling very temperemental today at the pub, there were two cheapskate customers who kept on saying I was didhonest because I charged them $105 for a bottle of Black Label at 7pm and then we had a promotion selling a botle of Black Label for $99. Well, thats really too bad so sad, there is a reason why people call it a promotion! Ayway, just to make the fuckers happy, I bought them a glass of scotch each. And I played the game by being extra nice. Afterwhich I left them alone.

My staff Kenny is becoming a fucking nuisence, he can't hold his fucking driks and he gets hostile when he is a wee bit tipsy, this MOFO has to go! He got into a serious argument with a group of customers who were on the verge of smashing him, but I went out of the pub first to tell the customers to chill and give me face as its my pub and I don't want ay problems. They complied. This Kenny guy has to go soon, maybe even later. Work stree is so FUCKED up!!!!!!

Ally grabbed me while I was stoning at the bar and smooched me... And before she left, she smooched me again... This girl seems to like smooching alot man. Obviously this whole thing could be dragged a little further but nah....

I had drinks with the two cute chicks from the other bar, Sarah and Trisha, they are adorable... Just as if they are my little sisters. Hehehehe...

Really miss Winnie and Elly. These few days, I have sort of made up my mind to not be in a relationship, I think I'm just not good enough to be in a serious relationship. This does not mean I don't love D.Angel, she would know what I mean. I just wish she would find someone better who can love her more and be able to commit. I'm too stressed out with work to even think of jumping into a relationship. I just don't want heartaches anymore.

I have also been feeling very depressive lately and I am afraid, it seems like death lurks in my stressful mind. I really feel like buying a plane ticket on the quiet and fly off to some secret place for a vacation. Maybe Bali...

Mom, Fish and Gavin

2006-09-18T04:17:00.000+08:00

Was just about to fall into deepsleep when my cell phone rang, my mom was on the other line and she was telling me that a fish bone got stuck in her throat. Mom tried to visit the doctors but no! So she was sent to Changi Hospital to get the bone removed, I followed mom all the way to surgery, pretty fast surgeruy, mom was out in less than 30mis.

BEWARE WHEN EATING FISH!!!!!!!

She became a part of me.

2006-09-18T03:58:00.000+08:00

My life was a wreck before I met the dark angel, she listened to me and I confided in her,
The dark angel was always there with a listening ear.

I started to fall so deeply in love with the dark angel, I wanted her to be mine and thats all I wanted,
Looking back through the past months and my current thoughts, I somehow feel that I regretted.

Its nothing about the angel, its all about me, I want to stay single and focus myself in my career,.
Mistakes will be made and that is what I fear, This angel is a part of me and she is so dear.

I don't want to be held in a relationship at all, a friendship with this angel means more than any relationship, I grew to love my angel and the only subttle way is to tell her that I love her for what she has done for me and for a strong person she is, Together or not, we're still as one. Our bonding is so unique.

Maybe I'm just not the one made for this beautiful angel. She should deserve better than me, But always remember angel, I have you memories embedded in my mind and you are one I would never forget. You are the best lover I had! But sadly...I am not..

I set you free as a bird out of a cage to explore new horizons, Go and discover the new things in life,. I shan't stop you angel.

But always remember that deepdown in my heart,you're always there.. I love you my angel till the day I die.

But now.... I have to lead my own life and wish you all the best in life.this poetry makes me tear... But this is as honest as i can get,

ANGEL OF DARKNESS I LOVE YOU

Walk away, walk slow...

2006-09-16T04:50:00.000+08:00

Walk away from a perfect scene, not a glance behind to see her tear,
How far she'd follow me no one knows, the day she stops would make me fear.

I chose to leave a splendid life to search the depths of new horizons and lust.
Many say I made a big mistake, but its my gut feelings I trust.

I need this space to let my mind grow,
feelings of mine kept inside, I don't wish to show.

It feels great to be all alone, it feels lighter to be walking away.
How long will I be walking, one can't assumingly say.

The lovely angel walks two steps behind,
watching my every move and pondering if she should resign.

Her patience may not wait,
And I know I am taking a risk and it may be too late.

I know It would be impossible to find someone like her again,
But yet I have walked, knowing that losing her would drive me insane.

Years have gone by and I am the same,
looking back at how time has passed no longer feels like a game.

She is happier now with her partner in hand
After me, she has finally found a new man.
beautiful face in a beautiful gown walking down the aisle.
Here I am still walking another mile...

I'm sick, I need a cure...

2006-09-14T03:26:00.000+08:00

I just being under the fucking weather, been nursine a fever for the past few hours, popped 3 sedatives and waiting for the effect to kick in. Went to the pub today but came home around 11pm... I'm not feeling good, felt like I was going to faint.

Susan smsed me today and asked me if I had started driving... Huh? No... Weird...

I sense a hectic week ahead... hopefully I can live it up till Tuesday. Dying.....

Anyway, keep in touch everyone.

Cheers!
Gavin

Happines is a pill away

2006-09-13T00:42:00.000+08:00

Went to see the doctor this evening, collected some pills which help the brain release more chemicals to make oneself more happy faster... Its great! My mood is like way up and I'm in high spirits. It cost me though... $140 for a months supply. Damn! These pills don't come cheap.

My old chum from Lasalle contacted me, she's back in Hong Kong for good, she is doing some modelling work. Hmm... she asked me to visit her in Hong Kong to club in October... If I can leave, I would go, but I've got so much stuff to do in Singapore. Damn I need a break.

I stayed at home the whole day thinking of new ways to up the business at the pub somemore. I think the pub needs to get more wild. Not sleazy but just wild, I think the next step is to find a way to apply new concepts. Anyone out there with an idea, feel free to let me know! Fresh ideas are healthy!

Sex in the lion city

2006-09-12T04:42:00.000+08:00

Here I am with my buddy next to me (no names mentioned), he brought some foreign chick over to my house and there they are lying on my bed just a few inches away from me. There is just something I don't like about these funny women he brings to me... I am just not within their bandwidth I guess. I can't stand Mandarin speaking girls I guess, turn off!!!!

Anyway, business is picking up again at the pub, I didn't know but I had about almost three jugs of beer today, didn't realise at all, but at about 11pm I was feeling not tipsy but extremely sleepy. Thank goodness I'm off tomorrow. Probably going to head down the clinic to get some medicine and some sedatives. Been a chore trying to sleep lately.

Anyway, I was just thinking about what a sad country we live in, our contry's mascot if a fucking lion who looks mutated with the fishy look and all he does is spit water out. How boring is that? Why can't we have a cool mascot like the bauld headed eagle of USA?
The government is again pestering locals to reproduce as the greying population is increasing, If I am not wrong, I remember a 'guy' telling us to STOP AT 2 in the 1980's, and now that same fella is saying the more the marrier, what about the women who went to the extent of getting their reprodutive organs tied up? IT IS IRRIVERSIBLE! What does he think man, are we his slaves? We are indebted to him? Since he is still so strong, why don't he make some new 'future leaders'...
I think the solution to the slow birth rate in Singapore lies smack in the papers! Everyday we read the papers and see that India is over populated, why not import some horny Indians and allow them to breed here, China is increasing too, allow the Chinks to breed here too! And hey, Philippines ration of men to women is 1:3, bring on the foreigners man!

Ok, I think I'll stop now, going to find some food...

The 500th Post

2006-09-07T07:23:00.000+08:00

And so, finally I've reached my 500th post. Well, not that I'm going to get a fucking prize or anything but its a form of satisfaction I get from simple things like these.

I spent my whole Wednesday drinking scotch and tequila, had glass after glass of scotch today and by the time it was about 1am, I was already 'almost there'... Anyway, I planned to head to any fucking club in town to drink more by myself but ended up meeting the guys at club Momo, I really don't see why I keep trying to make myself happy by visiting clubs... I just can't fit in or accept the clubbers life, I'd rather drink at a chill out pub or I might as well work. Had a few shots of tequila at Momo, pretty lively place but really not for me, I should have just stuck to my own personal plan and chill out at SuBar by myself... Well, at least I had the phone number of the girl selling tequila. So at least I know I went to Momo and left with a number... No big deal, just entertaining myself.

You know, when I was in the cab on my way to Momo, I do realise one fucking thing that irritated me, have you people noticed the amount of money spent on the new polished road dividers and the clean concrete walls along the expressways? Well, I did, and yeah the reason is because we are expecting about 16,000 deligates from all over the world in a couple of days time. You mean our 'puppet mastes' can actually spend so much money on cleaning the state? Well... yeah... it is good for first impressions to the foreigners but don't you think that its a waste of money just to give the vsitors a good first impression? So now I know why the price of cigarettes have been climbing and not fogetting fuel prices and HEY! Don't forget the 5% of whatever you call it we pay everytime we buy anything! Guess where the notes have gone to? BINGO! Cleaning up the trash!
Don't get me wrong, it is good for the country but I just find it very superficial, so what f you put on a facade and show the rest of the world that we are a clean and green (Fuck! I hate that slogan) city, what about the illitrate uncle at Newton hawker centre who is going to suck out all the phelem in his gullet and spit it smack between the feet of a visiting deligate with utmost precision? Or what about the bunch of 'Ah Bengs' cursing at each other, you know, the kind of vocabulary which would make Eminem blush, the sentences which contains all the genitalia and anatomy of the 'bengs' mother and father... Such as "Kan Ni Na Bu" (Fuck your mom) or "Ni Na Bu, Zhao Chee Bye" (Your mothers smelly cunt)... Yeah of course the Ang Moh deligates don't know a hoot about what it all means but can you imagine the looks on the faces of our local guides? How would Our PM answer a question like : "Excuse me Mr P.M, what did those fancy looking chums with uneven hair styles just call me?" Ermmm.... I think...ermmm... They said something like ... Have a great time in Singapore. Come on! Tell the truth and shame the fucking devil man! Those funky kids just said your mom has a cunt which smells like a sewer! I cannot even imagine our "plastic men in white" trying to impress the deligates with our comatose English, makes me wonder why I'm not some minister or something.

Do you peope also know that the "CONTROLLERS" has stepped up raids on our girly scene? Well, I heard from sources (Night spot business is a small community) that Orchard Towers is pretty much wiped out off business, the
Thai chicks and the other "foreign talents" have been arrested and sent back to their native countries and town such as PATPONG, BANGKOK and ALSO........ HO CHI MINH CITY!....

I always thought that our government was proud of Orchard Towers and it was supposed to be iconic and also very much a tourists attraction... Contradictions.... Our fellow Singaporeans even call it the FOUR FLOORS OF WHORES! And now... they have to give it a good scrub so that our VVIP deligates get to see a squeaky clean Orchard Towers! Gosh, its going to be so fucking boring man, you think these dudes in coats don't have needs? You think they want to chill out at some posh lounge? Nah... men are men, bring on the sleaze!!!!! I mean, lets all get back to Earth! A facade is not what we want, be frank and truthfull to our VVIP's, if they found out that we were hidind the sleaze, the're probably going to think we are such selfish assholes... Its an IMF World bank meeting for goodness sake, if they can't trust us because of us hiding the sleaze, how are they gong to trust us in business? Yeah, I know I'm over reacting.

But just imagine a scenarion like this :

Dr. John Doe (USA) : I think we can trust Singapore with our bonds and probably give them a big piece of the American pie

Barrings CEO (UK) : Oh bollocks! How can we trust these selfish barrrstards... They are trying to keep the secret of the four floors of whores from us... If they can't be trusted with that, how can we trust them with money Dr John? Do I have a point?

Dr. John : How did you know all these stuff pal? Is Singapore that Sleazy? It looked pretty clean when I was on my way from the Airport, I see that they have beautiful railings and clean paved roads and the clean and green atmosphere... What four floors of whores?

Barrings CEO : You naive S.O.B, I heard about this Orchard Towers place from a bunch of nice kids down at Far East Plaza, they also said "Na Buay Chee Bye, Si Ang Moh"... It means have a pleasant stay.

Dr. John : Wow! Such nice kids, luckily the minister of foreign affairs here taught you the Singapore lingo. You know what? lets all have a NA BUAY CHEEBYE!!!!

Barrings CEO : Alright, before we head on for that boring seminar, let me take you to a secret place I sourced out on the internet, its called Geylang, you get to choose the numbers ok? I also heard that the cab drivers here are all politcians too!!!! Oh... What a diplomatic country! Lets all head on down to Geylang and have a NA BUAY CHEEBYE!!!

(More IMF skits in days to come)

I'm so tired...

2006-09-04T04:43:00.000+08:00

Was supposed to take a day off from work today but ended up beng at the pub again... Been so very tired lately... Would probably persuade my dad to send me off on a trip when Nizar comes back to work. Philipines would be fine with me actually, take some time off to gamble a little at the casinos' and also go for non-stop massages... And bring on the party in Manila too man! But this time forget about staying for 9 days... 5 days would be sufficient.

Been trying hard to brush up on my Tagalog language, been learning words from the girls at the pub and most of it are bad words... Yeah its always like that, when ever you learn a new language, its the swear words which you learn first. Utak inamo! (Your mom's a whore)... Laseeng! (Drunk)...

Anyway, going to grab some shut eye while I still can... Keep coming back to this blog for new explorations!

I guess being in the nightspot business is what I really want.

2006-09-03T04:09:00.000+08:00

You know, people always say that one sometimes never really end up doing what they studied... But what I have done is turned the tables and decided to throw in creativity and design into the nightspot business. That way, I can make best of both worlds. Well, its not that brilliant, but I guess my dream of becoming a pioneer in the nightspot business is slowly but surely coming true. I am reaping in what I have sowed... A pub sure is a tough business but with the right elements, it is a route to success. Business has been great lately, the pub has become more like a club in the east. But it is by principals that we shall remain humble and give back to our customers what they have given us. Last Saturday we had a buffet spread and this Saturday we had free flow of drinks... Any ideas on what I shall do for all of you next Saturday? Been having alot of positive feedback lately and it sure feels great to be recognised for the efforts put in. Celeste has been a great partner in developing ideas to boost business. The band is one very important catch to the success of Legends Pub.

Come the new financial year, I will be working closely with a Goverment organization to develop a campaign to raise awareness in a certain field. Looking forward to it. I will keep you guys posted on that in time to come.

I really miss my God-daughter Lani and of course I miss my sis and brother-in-law... Can't wait for the new addition to the family. Heard his name is going to be Logan! Can you beleve that????? My only nephew is going to be named after my favourite X-men! If you people are wondering when is my turn to make a baby, dream on... Like I said, I'm not prepared for anything like that just yet.

I think ths time round, I will give the rest of my family members a chance to be Godfather, or maybe we should all draw lots and see who gets to be Godfather, gosh, this sounds like the Mafia man! The Palmers meets the Pereiras' sounds very Mafiasco man!

And... I have to start clearing out my old room as the new maid would be arriving in October, my brother decided to hire a maid to help my mom out with chores and also ease the workload at home, as I am now full time party boy at the pub, having a maid sure would help mom alot, especially that we already know this maid for a long time, at least now I know mom won't be lonely at home or worried that she might be dizzy and all. My mom has not been feeling well lately and I feel so depressed that I can't be with her most times, yeah, people always think I'm Mr. tough-guy but deep down inside I am still a mommy's boy! Don't worry sis, I'll look after mom ok? I try my best these days to call her as often as possible.

I have been trying to get off sleeping pills but it sure is a uphill battle, I can't fucking fall asleep and its driving me nuts! I would be happy if I could get 8 hours of sleep, currently I'm only able to fall asleep at about 8am and I wake up around 2pm, have not been taking off from work either, business has grown and I need to be at the pub more. I have no time for anything personal but I guess this is life. Also, the sudden stop in anti-depressants has also made my health decline, been very depressed lately but never really spoke to anyone about it, can also feel the level of seretonins (chemicals which cause happiness) dropping and my O.C.D is getting a little wayward... I don't really want to tell anyone about this but since this is my blog, I just want to type this down so in the next couple of weeks I can look back at my past posts and analyze myself.

Love life?
Love life for me has been a decline, we still do love each other but I am not really ready for anything serious, I don't even have time for myself... Anyway, I see her everyday and she knows I've been really stressed out. I just want to take time to explore life itself. I don't want to force myself into a relationship and then hurt anyone when I realise that I'm not ready. Everyone thinks its a big mistake I'm making. It would be an even greater mistake if I were to screw things up in the future. People think that a bad boy just wants to have fun... Wrong! I'm just not comfortable being commited...

Oh! Last night I had a dream about my late friend Rachel, she seems happy in her life after death, she was smiling and she did not talk but I could feel it that she was happy. I still feel sadness when ever I think of her, I find it so difficult to digest the fact that she is gone.

Alright, got to go now, going to try and get some sleep... would take me at least 2 hours to make myself sleep without pills...

Fucking stressed out!!!!

2006-08-30T04:54:00.000+08:00

Why does everybody NOT understand how I think and how I feel, everyone just wants a rosy picture. Yeah, I know people wants the best for me, but why won't anyone allow me my space, arn't we all entitled to our own personal space? Is it my fault that I am afraid of commitment? I'm having a 'make-the-world-go-away' syndrome... I know that cooling off with her was my decision and I feel that it is fair that I say out and speak out the truth about how I feel now than to say things out late and create even double the pain... I decided to come out of the relationship because I feel that I am not ready. She is a great person and I don't want to hurt her if I were to do anything rash in the future. Anyway, no one is really going to understand how I feel, evryone just looks at things on a shallow basis, sometimes you have to look deeper.

Been so stressed out especially today...

Alcoholophobia

2006-08-27T06:08:00.000+08:00

Yeah... Getting pretty scared shit of alcohol, especially when you fucking see it everyday! Anyway, after a long fucking while, I decided to club and I went to Zouk... I was at Phuture when a fight broke out in front of me (I WAS NOT INVOLVED)... So before any glasses started flying, I broke up the fight and then the bouncers stepped in and thought I was involved in the fight, that really pissed me off! So I went outside and straight away the bouncers knew they had made a mistake, both people who were fighting told the bouncer that I was the peach maker and the bouncer had to apologize and blah blah fucking blah... I'm not going to take it lying down man, going to write in to the papers and also email Zouk itself to rectify this problem, we club to enjoy and what do you get? Some bouncer who probably has NO education and a bouncer is all he will ever be trying to assume things, I have no quelms about uneducated people but this fucking bouncer is a fuck head, uneducated and saying he is illitrate would be an understatement.

Anyway, whats the fucking point? I still picked up a few more nice chicks and one of the babes intrigued me, she had tons of piercings and a forked tongue, pretty cute, wouldn't mind experimenting with her. Other than that, clubbing is out for me, can't stand the lack of service and the people who think they are so high class, I think I will stick to chill out places and avoid mainstream places.

Gosh... I've run out of sleeping pills and anti-depressants and its really fucking me up bad. Need my fix! I'm no addict people, I just need these pills to be stable.

Have also been dating this girl called Elly, yeah she is older than me by about six or seven years... Nice girl but I don't think I want to get into anything serious as yet. Still confused...

Alright, will keep you all updated as much as I can, wanna club? Lets all go to some chill out and more EXTRAVAGANT places... Maybe NewAsia or SuBar... DXO!!!!! At least at DXO I get prestigeous service and priority. Watch out night people, the blonde haired giant is back in the market armed with business cards and a sleek tongue (Don't get me wrong).

Cheers everyone!
Have a drunken life!
Livers can be bought online! Just like kidneys!

Seperation anxiety

2006-08-23T06:01:00.000+08:00

Had a long chat with my girlfriend a couple of minutes ago and we came to a conclusion that I am just not ready for a serious relationship, i know ts heart shattering for the both of us but I guess it would make the friendship bond stronger. I'm not supposed to talk about this so openly but since this is my private journal, I'd might as well type out my sorrows. Its all my fault, I'm the player and I can't seem to settle down, I am one guy who is not so easy to deal with. We're on seperation mode right now and I need to do some serious soul searchng. Yes! I am depressed an sad, I just popped some anti-depressants and sedatives to soothe my nerves down. I'm glad we're still close buddies and she would definitely be the best female pal I really can confide in...

We're free to date anyone we want right now. I don't even have the time! Nether does she... Business is just booming and we both work in the same place.

But I have one songe for her : "I love you always forever" by Donna Lewis.

Good night friends.
Gavin :(

Continued...

2006-08-23T05:51:00.000+08:00

And so... the guy wanted to come back to the pub and 'settle' the dispute and judging from their agressive and drunken nature, I would not know if they had any weapons on them, so of course I placed a self defence weapon in nearby reach withing me, but when they came back to the pub, they tried to make peace and I put the self defence weapon away. I made them pay up and I told the MAIN guy that he deserved a tight slap across his face but I am not going to be the one to do it, so he asked his friend to slap him on my behalf and he got a hell of a tight slap. Case close and they all said their sorries. This is what I call respect.

Life's a bitch ad then you die!

2006-08-23T03:48:00.000+08:00

Ok, so... the past few fucking days have been so damn hectic, hardly had any time to sleep or even dream about any fucking thing. Well, at least business is getting real good and looks like if the pub keeps up with this kind of strategic business perspectives, we're on our way to success!

As for my life itself, it has not been so good, been in a state of confusion lately, I know I have a girlfriend but I still dated someone else for supper today, this girl is a very nice girl I would say but I don't want any more fucking heart breaks and its so tiresome trying to understand myself! Like what I always said : "So many women, too little time"...
I'm not planning to ditch anyone or anything like that, but somehow I feel that I'm hopeless at keeping a relationship...
I do love my girlfriend but it seems so difficult to be lovers, we are so much like friends is all I can say. As cliche as it sounds... " Its not her, its me"...

I am lost in two different worlds, the world of being me and the world of me trying to be somebody else... I want to be me! I guess everyone has issues but mine is like so damn fucking confusing. I need time out man! I need to carry on searching for what I really want in life, maybe I am destined to be single.

Anyway, I don't want to bore you people with my problems, I know you all have your own issues to deal with.
Some fucking bunch of guys tried to run away from the pub and not pay the bill two nights ago, but those bastards were so dumb to actually leave a namecard behind, and so I called the fuckhead and asked him nicely if he had forgotten to pay the bill ($220+), he responded really rudely and was very aggresive, and me... being very short tempered, shouted back at him on the phone and I managed to persuade him to get his fucking ass back to the pub to pay up or I'm going to call the cops, he was still being aggressive and threatened to smash the pub and started talking about how he would want to get me... Story continues tomorrow... Hehehehe....

Drink, drink and drink...

2006-08-21T03:50:00.000+08:00

I really can't consume so much alcohol everyday man! I have tried all fucking ways to escape drinking but to no avail... Customers seem to be very persistant in making you drink... Well, if this is business than too bad so sad, there is always job hazards yeah?

Anyway, met a few nice people this couple of weeks, met a person called Howie at Ain's party and also another sweet chick called Mei a couple of nights ago, its not that I go all out to pick girls up, these girls just happen to be around and we make friends... I just want to have fun and be "ME". I feel misunderstood sometimes, like everyone calls me the 'guy who has a different girl everytime' or 'the professional'... I'm not saying these are lies but hmmm... let me be me... I'm still searching for what I want in life, for all you know, I'm a closet gay! Hehehe...
I really can't help it if a girl ask for my number or business card right? And so what if I call these girls up and chat up with them, flirting is a must in life.

I really need a holliday soon, body is breaking down man... Have not taken a day off for a damn fucking long time. I should be lucky to get five hours of sleep everyday. And in case if you're wondering, I am still on heavy sedation... Can't help it, Mei told me to go for a detox camp at Pulau Ubin... ME??? How to? Sigh~

Well, at least I know that I am going to be a proud uncle again, this time its a BOY!!!!! My sister is making a boy!!!!! FINALLY! Planning to fly up to the US to see my sis before she gives birth but its yet to be confirmed. I want to go to so many places, Japan, Vietnam, USA and Holland... I'll see how it goes. I won't type too much but will keep filling you guys in on the latest happenings.

Ain! Please let me know when the next party is! Especially if Howie and Mei are attending... Hehehehe....
Good night everybody.

Its getting really tiring...

2006-08-18T05:19:00.000+08:00

Business is picking up really fast at the pub and now that one of the staff is on pregnancy leave, its double the workload. I'm not complaining that I have to work hard, I'm just complaining that I am so damn tired! I have been making guests' at the pub drink fast and that means I have to drink with them as I'm in charge of public relations. I had about a whole bottle of scotch today and I was almost 'down' by 1am! Didn't take me too long to get back on sober zone again, I left the pub when everyone else left. Poor Kenny had to lock up the pub. My girlfriend had to send me home...

Suppose to join Ain and gang clubbing tomorrow (Friday) but I doubt I can make it, unless someones locks up the pub for me, but for now, I think I have to remain at the pub. I know that my dad is going to terminate someone but I'd rather not say who. Well, thats business sense I guess.

Had a real sense of satisfaction when I managed to promote the drinks and force even the non bottle buyers to purchase bottles. Feels good. Looks like we're back on track especially when we have new chicks at the pub.

I know you great people out there have been waiting for me to update this blog, but I'm really sorry as I really don't have the time. I'm aiming $4K tomorrow night at the pub, got to keep pushing and keep selling, and of course keep chatting the customers up.

Love life is simple, I am still indeed still confused and I am afraid of going astray, something which I am capable of. I do love my girlfriend but I keep on thinking so much about life and what I want from it that it still scares me to be in a relationship, I don't want to break my sweethearts heart but what should I do to prevent any heart break? I am a serious commitment phobic. Anyway, its been pretty long since Susan called or SMSed me, happy that she has put me behind, less heart ache for her, no point Su, I ain't no sucker to be a 2nd man, I am a pure Leo! The only satisfaction I get is from being a better lover than her boyfriend. I am glad to say I was! Call me arogant or what ever, you people may hate me or love me. Life is a total bitch, so live with it.

Got myself a pet monkey, he sleeps next to me everynight and he the size of my palm, pretty cute and intelligent fella, knows how to react to me and come towards me. Will post up pics soon. I'm just too tired to transfer the images online.

Oh yah! Looking for pretty chicks with good communication skills to work as comission based waitresses, get paid $10 for every drink a customer gets you, earn up to $100 per night (6 hours). Contact me at 96844542, only those above 21 are elgible, send photo to thisisblondee@gmail.com

You know, all this internet buzz about the government is gettng a little haywire, whats the point there? I don't support certain perspectives and neither do I hate certain policies, but I think, we being a 1st world nation, we should be able to speak freely and have a freedom of expression. Think out of the box is all I can say to the government, OPEN your eyes and see if the dumb smoking restriction is working! IT'S NOT! People are still smoking as and when they want, where ever they want in coffeeshops. HAH! How long can this 'joke' keep up? Can the high authorities stop paying gagsters?

You know, talking about politics, the most priceless photo I would say...would be, the photo of EX PM Dr. Mahatir being sprayed with pepper spray, did you see that look on his face? Ouch! It had to hurt man! I'll try and get that photo up on this blog soon.

And today's New Paper had this article of a girl being insulted on the net about her pro governmental views, all I want to say to her is... STOP behaving like a teen, don't be so fucking petty, its just words here man, you want to cry over cyberspace? Don't surf forums if you can take the flaming, I've frequented forums and I was a real asshole but yet no one dared to insult, except for a few bastard here who try to leave nasty comments on my blog, go ahead and say what you like about me people, always remember that I KNOW who you are and when I have the time, you will see what I can do with just you I.P addresses.

Anyway, got to go... Sleep time finally!
Cheers!
Gavin

Mundane... twisted and just bored...

2006-08-16T10:43:00.000+08:00

Its been a fucked up couple of days is all I could ever say to describe... Firstly... had to spend too much money! Spent about $260 on a new super fast modem and router and then I had to purchase a fucking virus scan to rid my lap top off all the fucking virus! That set me back to another $139. Here I am trying to save some dough and all these expenditures start pouring in, thankfully I had a design job completion and I can cash out the $600 later. Well, on the other hand, design is picking up and my full concentration is going to be on design, property would come in as secondary. The pub is also driving me nuts! Has not been a day since I came home sober. I'm not proud of it... Most of my friends think it is so fuckng cool to have a pub and drink for free everyday, but trust me... a week is all it takes to make you fear the bottle of scotch.

My love life is in its mid-range catergory, I'm still a little shaky about my life, probably because I've never really been in a serious relationship before and this is a whole new feeling. Sometimes I wonder if this is the real Gavin or am I just playing a role in my life which is subject to changes in the future, spare me the heart break man... I'll just se how things go and then I'll have a mutual talk with my partner with what to do with life. Yeah I know I'm 24 and all but you know... life has to be one big hell of a party in order to make the fullest out of it. People always complain about my perspectives in life but I think you should make the most of life and have fun but also make sure you make enough cash. Its a complicated world.

The party I attended last week was smashing, it was Ain's Birthday and she held it at SuBar down at millinia walk, great party and great people. Who says the night scene in Singapore is boring, well... we may be a bit on the conservative side but thats just you, make partying a part of your life and the night scene would grow! The government is probably too tied up with more conservative issues than to actually brighten up the night scene, I see potential in clubs, I know someday I'm going to own one.

The bleach on my hair is burning man... getting my hair done pure white, Prominent huh?
Anyway, I will fill this blog up with pictures real soon. Probably tonight. Don't know if I am going clubbing tonight... A bit tired man.

Been damn long since I blogged yeah?

2006-08-12T16:43:00.000+08:00

Sorry lah, I can't surf the net from home as the wireless is FUCKED UP! I'm at the pub now using some MOFO's wireless, not bad... pretty fast modem this sucker is using.

Had a party at SuBa yesterday, its a new club at Millenia walk waterfall... Quite a nice place, but small though, my lecturer bought all the birthday people 'killer' drinks and I was gone in 2 hours, girlfriend had to come down to Suba and drag me home. Also chatted up with some girl from Mediacorp, had an exchange of business cards and only today did I realise that she's Howie the radio host. She is really down to earth, unlike Glenn Ong and so on...

It was Ain's Birthday and I bought her a waterfall which was the downfall of her last night. It was a smashing party! Thanks Ain! Old fart! Finally Ain has grown up to be a gorgeous princess.
It was a splendid gathering with all my Lasalle-SIA buddies. I also had a lecture from my lecturer who is asking me to take my degree as it is VERY important in Singapore. I don't have to take it in Lasalle, even NAFA offers good degrees,. Makes me consider taking a study loan from one of the banks, will look it up on Monday.

Anyway... about me lately, I have been feeling really stressed out lately. I am in a fantastic relationship but the only downside is I can take the party boy out of myself. And I don't want to hurt my partner. I feel that I'm losing my own identity. I am not the Gavin I used to be anymore, not that its a bad thing but seriously... I don't know what I want to do anymore... Oh what I should do or feel. I want to be fair. Is it true that if you love someone, set it free? Everyone tells me that I am afraid of commitment. Am I? I don't even know, my girlfriend is a fantastic girl and breaking her heart is the last thing I would ever do. But how should I put it to her that I need my space to socialise and be me... Sigh... Everyday I'm just drowning in my pills just to forget the dilemma I am in. Advise me people, please... Especially my sister.

Anyway, I also decided that real estate is not my forte, I want to be back in the design scene and I know the market is picking up. Whats the point of studying something and then not practicing it right?

I am so fucking lost!!!!!!!!!!! I am so fucking stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELP!

Getting old isn't getting much fun now...

2006-07-27T00:23:00.000+08:00

When I was a teen, I couldn't wait to be sixteen... then eighteen... and when I was eighteen I wanted to turn twenty one... And now... I just wish time would stop! I know I'm only twenty four but I sure as hell am getting older! Even my fucking wrinkles are showing. I will be celebrating though!

Just got back from the pub, had a rough day, woke up feeling damn grouchy and moody, probably from the lack of medication, you see... I decided to go drastic and totally cut off all the medication which I'm on, bad fucking idea!
Need to call up the shrink tomorrow.

Got to go now people, I am a sick person today.

Get back to you all soon.

Sorry folks for not having updates!

2006-07-25T16:18:00.000+08:00

Firstly, sorry for not being able to update this blog, my fucking internet has been down with a flu! Anyway, nothings been up actually... I just want to invite anyone who reads this blog down for drinks at my pub on the 1st of August (Tuesday)... I will be celebrating my 24th birthday and everyone is invited for the buffet which starts at 8pm! GOOD FOOD!

Lets all gather and have a great time together, bring on the chicks!

Will update you guys tonight after I get back, I'm going to get some shut eye before I head to the pub.

Cheers everyone!

Realator. Mr. Gavin Koh.

2006-07-11T03:19:00.000+08:00

Had my first rental deal sealed yesterday evening. Not much money but it still makes up some spare change. Spent 20 minutes with a client and persuaded him to rent the room. Pretty easy going guy. Edmund is a big help in this real estate business.

Have a few people who wants to buy flats all over Singapore, especially in Clementi (near MRT), Chai Chee, Potong Pasir, Ang Moh Kio, Bedok and Tampines. Interested parties please call me at 96844542.

I also have a close friend who is renting a master bedroom out in Tampines for between $450 - $550, depending on how many people shares the room, simply furnished and air conditioned. Do contact me A.S.A.P. Preference goes to cabin crew as the apartment is near to the airport. Why rent from other 'mainstream' agents when you can have the best agents like Edmund and me. Value for your money! So if you have a room to rent or you need a place to rent or buy, look for me! Guranteed good deals and probably profitable for you.

Also looking for people who are interested in taking over a fully furnished pub in the East! Two floors, low rent and free parking, client base has been already been built up. Free consultation to run the pub from professional pub owner. Take over fee is below $65K. One off deal!

If you have anything regarding land, real estate or pubs, contact me anytime. Gavin Koh - 96844542!

Jack of all trades Gavin. Services needed?

2006-07-08T15:33:00.000+08:00

Rental Whole Unit / Room Wanted!

I have many ready tenants (local. P.R. and foreigners) urgently looking for whole unit / or room in the East Coast area (Telok Kurau, Siglap, Marine Parade or Katong).

FOREIGN TENANTS WILL BE STRICTLY CHECKED TO ENSURE THEIR WORK PERMIT VALIDITY!

Interested owners please call...

Your efficient, experienced & personal realtor!!!

Gavin Koh 96844542 or Email me at thisisblondee@gmail.com

Party Liason Needed???

Need a personal party organizer for a private event? Stag nights, graduation partys' Birthdays? Just been promoted? Just got divorced? Lost your virginity?

Contact Gavin Koh, the party liason!

Confident party host who would make your party a wild one which you will never forget. Place and venue of drinking party is always available! Not forgetting the chicks!

Feel free to discuss further.

Call 96844542 NOW!

Gavin Koh

Singapore Skin.

2006-07-07T22:23:00.000+08:00

Lets all fucking face it, the biggest business is the skin business, and I'm not talking about sweat shops. I mean prostitutions and fly-by-night fuck shops. The 'import' of foreign girls and the selling of these women to syndicates all over this crammy island. I have done pretty much intensive research on this topic and I plan a "reveal-all" thesis which should cover almost everything about the sexual business in sunny Singapore and also the players who play mind games with women, a tactical and truthful thesis on how playboys' play and prey in the night scene. All which would be based on facts and personal experiences, past and present. But don't hope for me to be some big time author yet, I write because I love writing but when the thesis is done in approximately a year, I would love to have it published and make some spare change. SUPPORT!

What do you people think of the fucking smoking ban in foodcourts and some other eateries? I'm totally against it not only because I'm a smoker, but because its ridiculous! Plain stupid and senseless! Here I am smoking at one table at the smoking area and the smoke from my little butt floats next to the other fucker who is in the no smoking area, he still gets offended right? All I have to do is place one of my fucking feet onto the yellow markings on the ground and I am considered NOT breaking the law, where is the sense in that? Is it not good enough that the price of tabacco is already sky high? I'd raise the stakes and ban smoking altogether if thats whats going to make the garrrmennttttt.... happy, but no! Sales of cigarettes will continue, why? Because the handsome taxman needs his cut, so that five digit sums can be paid to the guys in white who do nothing but play puppet masters! Are we smokers going to sit on our butts and be played? Or why not dip the prices of cigarettes to an all time low and increase the price of lighters and matches? Sounds stupid right? But I think I have a point because I don't think there is much taxes on lighters and matches.

As for me, I will remain the rebel and smoke till my hearts content, I will give up when I decide to give up and did the dear garrment... ask smokers to quit? NOPE! WHY? You should know the answer. All we need is 2 million smokers who smoke a pack of cigarettes a day and in 6 months we can build more Esplanades ($600 million)... Hmmm... Makes you wonder why there are still so many poor people around? Makes me think that the former NKF CEO deserves the right to have gold taps and a huge bonus. Why don't we have all the top people in the country scrutinized and see if they too have gold taps, who knows... maybe even champaign flows freely from the gold taps of some top notch big head dude who says that we should be confined to a little yellow box to puff our OWN fucking lungs away.

World Cup 2006

2006-07-01T03:17:00.000+08:00

Most punters gambling on the Germany Vs Argentina match today would have lost money, I'm staying away from the game and just enjoying the match. Not so easy to make money on soccer betting people. If you make some money, LEAVE! Don't try to even double up. I learnt this in the previous World Cup, I burnt at least $3000! Not a fun thing...
But today's game was a heart pumper man, both teams played equally well but alas the odds fell in favour of the Germans during the penalty shoot out. Kudos!

My dad actually knows about me and my new girl, I knew he knew but just didn't want it to affect the business in the pub. Thats why I kept it hush hush as much as I could.
The pub was EXTREMELY crowded tonight and everyone was merry. As for me, I was too busy and annoyed by the enormous demands and of course lack of sleep...
The new girl we hired is like a fucking 'screen saver'... If you leave her alone for too long, she will idle, so you have to nudge her a little to keep her working. Sigh... why can't all the staff be like the Vietnamese staff.

Going to be a busy week till the finals of the World Cup, so I'm trying to keep up with my sleep. Don't even know when I will even be able to take a three day break to like pay visits to other night spots.
Probably on the 20th of July... I'm invited for a Maxim magazine event, its for almost all pub owners or hard core clubbers, going to be a wild night with all the Maxim chicks! But I promise to keep my pants on no matter what mental state I am in. Got to endure temptation!

Going to start a new thesis on the skin trade soon, will update you guys on that thesis in MONTHS to come, currently just researching on the topic to be more sure. Trust me, the skin trade in Singapore is more than just subtle, you never know what goes on people, I've seen and I am pretty sure we are not a fucking liberal society at all.
I'm also starting to pick up the Filipino language too, pretty tough though... But it helps in alot of ways. Especially by using their profanities.

Alright everyone, have to go check my emails and then watch some re-runs of C.S.I and then to sleep. Take care and cheers to everyone.

P.S : Hey sister! How many months more till I become an uncle again? And Kimmie, do you still think my sis is having twins?

And Yoko, I know you read this blog, come down for a drink with your hubby soon man.

Okok night night!

Been a little wired up and stressed out lately.

2006-06-30T03:11:00.000+08:00

Been quite awhile since I felt this way, lately I've been feeling rather depressed again and also more confused with life. I'm not on the verge of suicide but I just feel that life is becomig more mundane and boring. I need that certain injection of happines but I don't have a clue where to find it. Never told anyone about how I'm feeling as its purely not important to anyone, its me and people have their own problems, so its not fair for me to 'burden' anyone about my situation. And moreover, I don't want my parents to worry anymore. But honestly, I'm feeling really down and its eating into me fast from the inside, I'll see how the next few days go and probably visit my shrink on Tuesday.

And now is also a period where I want to make a change in my own life, I want to start a new career and make my first million fast, designing won't make me millions and I'm sure. Property might be a choice as I am a people person. I'm lost in thoughts, maybe I should just be a narcortics officer or something.

Male gigolo perhaps? Suggestions from you people please... What should I do?

The pub is just another secondary foundation for me and I know I won't fail in the night scene, but I want something which I built up on my own, I want to be rich with MY own money.

I will be coming up with a new book called 'The Singapore Skin Trade Undercover'. Going to take a long time though, its a book promising to uncover all the sleaze and vices surrounding areas over Singapore, we ain't a squeaky clean country as what many people think. For reservationsof this ultimately wild and intrusive and graphical story, please email me your orders fast at thisisblondee@gmail.com

I'm also teaching Photoshop 7,8,9 & CS and also Macromedia Freehand 10 to anyone who is interested. Fees would be discussed further, be prepared for lies for you in the design circle.

Call me @ 96844542
Call me even for wild fantasy parties that you will never regret. Just state a budget and I'll do the rest.
Gavin Koh Party Liason!

Sorry for not updating lately, been at my girls house for a couple of nights.

2006-06-26T02:37:00.000+08:00

Has a squabble with Susan on Thursday night. I was having a great wedding dinner at Marriot Hotel when I heard from some people that Sue had been so-called bad mouthing me, I fucking can't stand that kind of shit man. So I rushed down after the dessert and bombarded Sue with a whole blast of questions. Well, I'll give her the benifit of the doubt since she said that she did not say anthing bad, but come on... it is my pub afterall and the walls do have ears you know? Well, its ok with me and her now but friendship is all I want. You have your partner George and you should be contented with a nice guy like him, I know that Susan also confessed to still loving me and having feelings for me, I appreciate it, but what is pass is really the past. Of course I cherish good memories. I don't want to hold any grudges against her because I don't see the point in that. Let bygones be bygones and stop the spread of malicious bad mouthing. She also said that someday our paths will cross again, but you know what, two parallell lines never meet. Lets leave it as a friendship-friendship situation. No grudges.

and then there is Rachel, the girlfriend before Susan who still sms's me that she needs a hug from me badly. I don't mind the sms's but lets be downright honest here, nothing more is going to happen. The both of them are pretty girls/women, so I am sure that they can find the right man who is better than Gavin Koh anytime!

I am not a hard-hearted guy but sometimes, its better to lay out your cards early than hold on to them for too long, it just makes life too complicated, as if my life ain't complicated already.

Bottom line is, Susan and Rachel are still fond memories and them two are still friends is my life. So sayonara past and lets welcome the future. TOPIC CLOSED!

Anyway, Tuesday is my next fucking appointment with the shrink, have to update him on a couple of issues, been feeling weird lately and very, VERY stressed out, I don't even know why, but when that fucking feeling comes, it can really fuck you up real bad.

Will be celebrating my Birthday on the 1st of August (actual day) at my pub, probably going to cater some really good food, MUST HAVE SUSHI! Everyone is invited and we shall have a fucking good time. Will keep you guys posted when the day draws near.

Also heard the news about the blogger who posted up Jesus caricatures on his blog, what a fuck-head huh? Now he faces like a few years in jail, sad fuck. But I guess the Government has to step up on the law against religious mockary. You know... to like keep the peace! ~LOL~ face it, there will never be world peace. Not this era not ever! WAKE UP! If there is no war, there won't be any fun reading the papers or watching the news.

Alright, need to finish reading the book Veronika Decides to Die.

Oh yah, prediction for the World Cup finals would be Argentina VS Germany (2-1). Just wild guessing.

See ya!

Gossip still going on lah...

2006-06-19T07:06:00.000+08:00

Had a chat with a friend who bumped into Rachel lately and my pal asked Rachel if she wanted to go to my pub for a drink, Rachel said : "Dowan lah... go there and see that bastard for what."... Hey, just because I didn't take the relationship seriously means I'm a bastard gal! You got to watch that attitude, it ain't cool. But the priceless thing she ever said was : "Why can't two girls share one Gavin?" It still makes me laugh.

Anyway, the fucking World Cup is a fuck-up. I'm not losing much but its still so fucked up. Its like, win...lose...win and lose...

Anyway buy total goals 5 for the Saudi Arabia match, those oil freaks can only ride camels.

Had a few drinks with Andora and the rest today, made Andora drunk and I ate a cockroach as a dare. Andora had to finish a whole fucking jug of water in one go! Anyway, cockroaches don't taste funny at all, its like a little bitter and 'juicy'. Try some?

And hey Sis, its going to be twins, the heart beat is just beating at the same time. It's gonna be surprise, suprise!!!
But if its just one, it BETTER be a boy, I want to take him fishing and teach him how to pick the chicks. Will also teach him to fight back when people try to bully him. When he is 5 years old, I will buy him a pair of boxing gloves.
He is gonna be a fine young man! If he is brought up the way Deb and I were brought up. We were from the school of hard knocks! YAY!!!!! UNCLE GAVIN AGAIN!!!!

You all can wait till kingdom come to get any nieces or nephews from me. I'm probably firing blanks man!
Ok, better sleep now... feeling pretty dizzy and sedated.

Good night/morning

Insomnia getting pretty bad again...

2006-06-16T07:13:00.001+08:00

Can't fucking sleep thes few weeks, I had no choice but to overdose myself just to induce some sleep. Been working too long hours at the pub lately and its so fucking tiring, by the time I get home at 3am, I'm all lathargic but yet still so awake. Thank good ness for PS2 to keep me awake. The DVSs have been a great help too.

Rachel asked me if I think of anyone who is in my heart besides a girlfriend or date, my answer is simple : GOD! God is always in my heart.

I really need to visit the fucking quack doctor tomorrow and get more heavy dosages of sedatives. As for my mood disorder, its gettig much better thanks to Celeste, she is helping me out with the control of my intake of pills and its working, no other girl has actually helpes me cut-down on my dosages before. Such a sweet darling.

Fucking cigarettes prices have gone up again. FUCK! What the hell is the "gaarment" doing? First ban smoking at bus stops, then coffeeshops and soon it will be pubs. Why not just fucking ban cigarettes period? You know why? The tax on cigarettes is so high that it could build dumb stuff like the Esplanade ($600m) Everything is just money, money and some political reason. Since gambling is a taboo for so long, why build a fucking casino? A worlds first NO SMOKIG CASINO? Prepare to be laughed at! I really don't mind paying the extra fucking bit of $0.20 but its really selfish and fucking stupid. What are these men in white doing? They shoud concentrate more on like finding the finding Jemah Islamiah (JI) Kill those bastards and fuck them if the want to be suicide bombers. Fucking low mentalily CLOWNS who believe in a 'Holy War' . I don't know what God they believe in, but for me, I don't think any God would want us to commit mass killings and genocide.

Anyway, got to sleep now! Congrats to Equador for winning, England for winning a of course Sweden! Yay! $$$
Don't you just love to bet?

Wish me luck tomorrow!
Gavin

RECRUITMENT!

2006-06-12T06:45:00.000+08:00

Still bumming aroung waiting for a job to appear in front of your face? Wait no more!

My pub is looking for female staff between the ages of 21 - 29 (18 year olds will be considered)

Located at 725 East Coast Road. Legends Pub (next to Siglap Centre)

Working hours from 4.30pm to 1am (Mondays to Sundays) entitled to a day off for full timers.

Its a fun pub where you get to meet loads of great people in every idustry.

Salary is neg. (between SGD$1300 to $1500 for full timers)

Salary is neg. (between SGD$6.00 to $7.00/hr for full timers)

There will be commision for all staff. Tips sharing at the end of each workig night (average tips is between $10 -$20)

You must have a sense of social skills and P.R
Drinks knowledge is not a problem at all. Learn as you earn! Why pay to drink when you can get paid and drink! Not forgetting the fun we can all have as a crew. I ain't like some other pub bosses, I'm a party boy myself.

Please contact me Gavin Koh at 96844542 or email me at thisisblondee@gmail.com ASAP Please

Pleasant looking girls who like to party is a must! No sleaze and just pure work and fun! What a great combination.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, NO POLITICS!

LEGENDS PUB (THE MOST HAPPENING PUB IN THE EAST)

Creative Consultant/Boss
Gavin Koh

AMAZING! I didn't have sex for quite awhile.

2006-06-12T02:20:00.000+08:00

Been awhile since I had sex, maybe I had too much of it in the past few months. It certainly is an accomplishment!
Stayed out last night at one of my dates house, watched a DVD and then slept till 4pm today. Then we played with her PS2 till about 8pm and then I had to go to work. Susan was at my pub having drinks with her usual bunch. She came over and said hi and I did likewise. Its fine being friends but certainly nothing more. I didn't feel awkward or anything, its just like a passing phase, no regrets.
Sex used to play such an important role in my life but now it seems that perspective has changed. I just enjoy being in good company with my date/s. Its the company which is important actually.

Hey Kimmie! I like the names you gave to my up-coming twins! YAY! As for me having kids, well... not just yet, have alot more fun ahead and marriage is far from near.

Alright now people, got to go now.
Cheers!

I'm the biggest topic man... Gossip goes on...

2006-06-10T18:25:00.000+08:00

The scandal with me and Susan plus Rachel is long over but the news of the situation is spreading fast, I still do remain friends with both the girls but the funny thing is... My group of drinking pals went to Union Square for a drink, I was still on vacation i Philippines. They saw Rachel and Sue together and they were pretty shocked, and then Rachel said: " Why look so shocked? Can't two girls share the same guy?" I found that pretty hilarious. Goodness... Cute huh? Two past girlfriends going out together...

Yeah, anyway... I wish both of them happy lives ahead, Rachel is still young and I bet there are many suitors for her. Sue has George and I wish them all the best and hope they work things out.
As for me, I'm happily dating and having a blast of a time! Never been happier! I treat everything as an experience. Learnt alot in the past few months.

Been staying out really late these few nights, especially with the World Cup screening at my pub, that means extra hours clocked in, but that also means more cash flowing in too.

Lets just hope England wins tonight in the first half and also the second half.

Anyway, lets see whats the next gossip is about me. This is so interesting, never knew people actually bother to follow up with my mundane life story.

Alright, nap time for me, have to work late tonight. Glory to England. MAKE ME MORE $$$$$!

Fucking boredom setting in...

2006-06-06T18:53:00.000+08:00

Greetings again... woke up pretty much at the average timing, don't feel like I'm on vacation anymore. I didn't do much shopping, bought a few nonsence stuff and also a security system with a wireless camera. Probably going to fix it up in my pub and connect it to the telly's to screen the band from all areas. Also played around with the tazer guns, damn shiok if I get to try it out on someone, sadfully, no volunteers, there was a 3000 Volts and 13,000 Volts series, gosh, I wonder which one I experienced when the cops in Singapore shot me with one to subdue me. Also bought a set of microphones and headphones and also a web cam. DAMN FUCKING CHEAP! You guys should all download Skype (online phone conversations) visit www.skype.com . I use it everyday to make overseas calls which are ALMOST free! You just have to use a credit card to buy credits online. Perfectly secure. Even better than MSN chat.

I just realised that San Miguel beer makes me get a very bad headache everytime. So, I shall avoid at all cost. But I don't have much of a choice though, everywhere sells it. Damn!

Alright, will keep you guys posted real soon.
Take care and see you all soon.

Greetings from Manila...

2006-06-04T23:03:00.001+08:00

Phew... I've never been 'high' on alcohol so early before, brought jessy and her friends for a drink and I just got to the internet cafe... Had a wayyyyy........ bit too much too drink thats its pretty difficult to type, but then again, I'm too bored to go back to my room. Went to a club which played all the songs which reminds me of my baby... gosh! I miss her so much! Going to call her in a little bit, I just can't go a night without hearing her voice. Had a few photos taken tonight, casual stuff of course... nothing sleazy... DUH! Bought some DVD's and VCD's (ORIGINAL). Probably going to watch them in my room later, pretty interesting stuff. About 'E' and also about some other stupid stuff.

Anyway, I won't type much for now, pretty pissy high now but still under control, just don't give me another beer! I love this hotel I'm staying at actually, the staff are great and I get V.I.P treatment... YAY! Bought all the staff breakffast this morning. They were so fucking happy. You really have to buy people here to get by. Might be staying at the Hyatt tomorrow, feel like pampering myself!

Might go back to Singapore earlier than expected. Hopefully Wednesday! Miss my own little country!
Alright, have to go now, need to make a few calls to Singapore.
You people take care. See You all soon.

MABUHAY!